On my own a The Secret Life of the American teenager fanfiction story

On my own part 7

Chapter 6 the struggle

Ricky pov

As I drove to my appointment with Dr fields I couldn't help to feel guilty . I know John probably doesn't understand that Amy isn't going to come back but the last thing I want him to think is that both of his parents are abandoning him . I need to do this for myself. I need to work on my issues. The last thing John needs is for me to fall apart .

Grace and Jack pov

As soon as Ricky left John started freaking out . "Shh okay John it's okay." I said to him I stood up and started to sway him back and forth . He started crying louder. "Oh Ricky said that he's probably hungry." Jack said. "You're right." I said. "Jack can you go and get a bottle from the fridge?" Grace asked me." sure I can." I said as I stood up and made my way to the kitchen. I quickly got a fresh bottle for John and went back to the living room . "Grace do you want to feed him or should I?" I asked her. "Well I guess I could feed him." I told jack. He handed the bottle to me. "Alright buddy are you hungry ?" I asked John as I put the bottle in his mouth . "That's better. Isn't it John?" I asked him. He immediately started to calm down as soon as I begin to feed him. "I guess this is kind of what it will be like when you and I have kids." Jack said to me. "What? What do you mean ?" I asked. "Well one day I would like to marry you grace." he said. "One day I would like to marry you and have a family with you." he said to me. "You know after you finish college and medical school like you want to do." I said to grace. "That is what you told me isn't it?" I asked her. "What? I told you what?" Grace asked me. "You told me that you didn't want to get married or settle down until you graduated from medical school right?"I asked grace. "Yes Jack that's the plan." she told me . "But Jack to be honest I don't really want to be thinking about either of those things right now."she said to me. "However having said that it doesn't mean that I don't want all those things to eventually happen." she said to me. Just then John started crying . "I think we need to burp him since he's done his bottle."grace said to me . "Can you grab me a burp cloth please ?" I asked Jack. "Okay but where are they ?"Jack asked me. "There right over there."I said to him pointing to the open cupboard . "Alright."he said as he got up to get it. John continued to cry loudly. "Oh it's alright buddy Uncle Jack is going to get a burp cloth so that I can help you get all of that gas out of your system." I said to John as I lifted him up . He cried louder. "Oh I know buddy you're uncomfortable but don't worry it won't be long until I get you fixed up." I said. Jack handed me the burp cloth and I put it over my shoulder . I lifted John up high on my shoulder. I started to lightly pat his back . "Good job buddy." I said to him as it became very apparent but he was releasing a lot of gas .

Ricky pov

As soon as I locked into Dr fields,s office I broke down in tears . "Ricky what's wrong ? What happened?" Dr fields asked me. "Is everything alright?" He asked me. "Is it John ?"He asked me. I took a moment to collect myself . "No Dr fields it's not John."I nodding my head. I took a pause . "Its Amy." I said. "Amy? What happened with Amy?" He asked me. I proceeded to tell him what had happened early that morning . "Oh Ricky I'm so sorry to hear that." Dr fields told me. "I know,I mean I can't believe she just abandoned John like that." I said. The anger in my voice started to raise . "Calm down Ricky you need to calm down."Dr fields told me . "I just don't know how I am going to do this all on my own." I told him. "My biggest fear in the whole world is me becoming just like Bob."I said. "That's the last thing in the world I would ever want to do to my son." I said. "I know, I know everything is going to be alright Ricky . we will figure it out together." Dr fields told me .

Grace and Jack pov

After no more than 20 minutes of playing with John all of a sudden he started to get extremely fussy. "Nap time ?"Jack whispered to grace . "Nap time."grace nodded to him in response. "Sense you fed him and burped him I will put him down for a nap." I said to grace. "Sounds good to me." grace said to me . "Alright buddy it's nap time." I said to John as I cradled him in my arms . He continued to be fussy . "Wait I think there's something wrong." I said to grace. "What is it?" She asked me. "I think John needs a diaper change." I said to her.    " Grace I think we have a problem." I said. "What is it?"She asked me. "Well to be quite honest with you I have no idea how to change a diaper." I said. "It's okay I do." I said to Jack. I went into the nursery . Grace grabbed a blanket off the couch and followed me. I put the blanket on the rocking chair. Then I took John from Jack's arms. "Alright buddy let's get you changed." I said. I laid him down on the changing table and started to change his diaper . It had been both soiled and wet . John was crying the whole time. "It's okay buddy we are almost done." I said to him as I put the new diaper on him. After John was all clean I handed him to Jack. "Alright buddy it's time for your nap." Jack said to him. Once I had John in my arms I took the blanket off the rocking chair and swaddled him tightly so he felt secure. I sat in a rocking chair with John in my arms and gently rocked him back and forth . Unfortunately John continued fasting.  "It's okay buddy I know you miss Daddy, don't you?" I said to him. Hearing the sound of Ricky's name just made John even more upset then he already was . "It's alright John." I said. I started to softly sing to him and rub his back in an attempt to help soothe him . Despite my best efforts nothing seems to be working . After a while became obvious John wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon. "Jack here let me try." grace offered. "Alright sure."I said as I got up from the rocking chair and handed John to her. "Hello there little man."I said to John as Jack handed him to me. I'm begin to gently sway him side to side . unfortunately it didn't matter what we did we weren't able to get him to fall asleep.

Ricky pov

It felt good to go and talk to Dr fields but I can't wait to go home and see John . "Hey guys I'm back."I called to Jack and grace as I unlock the door of my apartment. I could hear John crying from the nursery. I quickly took off my jacket and my shoes and then went to go and see what was going on with John . Grace was sitting in the rocking chair with him in her arms . "Hey guys."I said to them as I walked into the room . " Hey buddy."I said to John. "How was he ?" I asked them. "Well after you left he got really fussy." Jack said. "So we decided to feed him since you said that he was probably hungry." grace said. "After he was done eating we had a little play time." Jack said. "After play time we were getting ready to put him down for a nap and then we realized he needed a diaper change . Now as you are probably able to tell we are trying to put him down for a nap." grace said.  "Alright  well thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it guys. I owe you one." I said to them. "No please Ricky you don't owe us anything. We want to help you out as much as we possibly can . Especially now now that Amy is no longer in the picture." grace said to me. "Thank you so much guys, I really appreciate everything you have done for John and I , it means a lot." I said to them. "Hey buddy." I said to John as grace cradled him in my arms. John did calm down a little but not very much as soon as he was in the comfort of my arms. "I know you missed daddy didn't you?"I asked him. I started swaying  him side to side in an attempt to soothe him . "Shh you're alright  little man, daddy's right here for you." I said to him. "Alright Ricky we better go. It's getting late . We need to be home soon." Jack said to me. "Alright no problem guys I totally understand." I said. "And thanks again I really appreciate it a lot." I said. "No problem Ricky anytime." grace said to me as they went  to go let themselves out of the apartment . "Alright buddy it's just you and me." I said to John after they left. "It's time for you to go to sleep." I  told him. John continued crying. "I know, I know you're overtired and you missed Daddy." I said to him. I sat down in the rocking chair and started rrocking him back and forth. I slowly sang to him and rocked him until he finally fell asleep. Once he fell asleep I laid him down in his crib . "Daddy loves you so much little man." I whispered to him before leaving the room.