Finding Ms. Right

Chapter 58: Not For Me

JANA

"W-WHAT?" Hindi ko napigilang mautal dahil sa tanong ni Lucy.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Jana! We all know that there is something going on between you two!" Sambit niya. Anong we all know ang sinasabi ng bruha na toh?

"Stop it, Lucy. There is no 'something', okay?" Sabi ko at sumubo ulit. I don't know why she suddenly opened the topic about him. Narinig ko ang paghinga niya ng malalim na hindi ko pinansin. Tinuon ko na lang kay Foodie ang atensyon ko. He's lying on my lap. Mukhang balak niyang matulog.

"You love him. He cares for you. That is the 'something' I was talking about." Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Lucy. Hindi ako tumingin sa kanya but I am sure that her face is serious right now base on her voice. "Right?"

I looked at her. This time, she's smiling. "N-no.. "Sambit ko. Naningkit ang mga mata ni Lucy kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin. I already accepted to myself what I really feel towards that guy but I am not ready yet to open it up to others.

"Talaga?" Tumango ako ng hindi tumitingin sa kanya. I fixed my gaze to Foodie who is still lying on my lap. "Then why does your eyes tell the otherwise?" Napapikit ako ng mariin dahil sa sinabi ni Lucy. Alam kong hindi niya ako titigilan hanggang sa mapaamin niya ako. Lucy is a keen observer. She can tell your thoughts just by looking at your actions or to your eyes. Hindi siya gano'n katalino pero magaling siya sa pagbasa ng mga tao. She always reads the truth in people's eyes and I am no exception to that. I'm doomed. "Jana..." Napalunok ako sa tonong ginamit ni Lucy. She was giving me a warning.

I sighed. "Y-You are right..." Sambit ko at tumingin sa kanya. I smiled. "I l-love him, Lucy. I really do." Sambit ko habang nakangiti.

I was expecting for her to shout because of shock or excitement but she did not. She was just there, looking at me seriously. Hindi siya nagulat o kung ano. Bagkus ay tinignan niya lang ako ng seryoso. Pero kahit gano'n, I didn't fade my smile away. I was smiling at her. Showing her that I am happy because I fell in love for the first time in my whole life.

"J-Jana... umiiyak ka.." Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Hinawakan ko ang pisngi ko at naramdamang basa ito. I froze. I was... crying. Umiiyak ako kanina kahit na nakangiti ako. Kaya naman pala gano'n ang reaksyon ni Lucy.

Natawa ako. "So this is how it feels like, huh? You are happy because you fell in love but hurting because you fell for the wrong person. Love is a blessing, and a curse at the same time." Sambit ko at pinunasan ang mga luha ko. Napatingin ako sa mga pagkain sa lamesa pero nawalan na ako ng gana. I started caressing Foodie's fur while he's sleeping on my lap.

"Wrong person? B-Bakit?" Napatingin ako kay Lucy dahil sa tanong niya. She looks confused. "He asked you to find the girl he will love, right? But you were not able to find it. It's because the person he asked for help is also the person he was looking for. Kaya siguro walang babaeng pumasa sa kanya, dahil ikaw 'yon, Jana. You are his Ms. Right! You are the girl that he will love." Natawa ako sa sinabi ni Lucy. Me? Really? He didn't asked me, he ordered me. He didn't gave me a choice. Finding that girl was my only choice. Tangina.

"Let's say you are right, Lucy. Pero hindi pa din. Because I was the only one loving him." Sambit ko. Kumunot ang noo niya na para bang nagulat at nagtaka sa sinabi ko.

"N-No. He loves you."

"How do you say so?" Hindi ko napigilang maging sarcastic sa pagtatanong. This topic was suffocating. I can't breathe anymore but I kept my poise. Hindi ang lalaking iyon ang wawasak sa akin.

Ngumiti sa akin si Lucy na siyang kinakunot noo ako. My tears stopped from falling but I am continually hurting. "I saw it. I felt it, Jana." She said while looking straight to my eyes. "Noong araw na lumipat ka sa Section C, most of the time, I was alone. That's why every break time, pumupunta ako sa classroom niyo. And you know what? I saw something that is hard to believe. Nakikita ko siyang nakasandal sa pader malapit sa pinto ng classroom niyo at nakatingin sa loob. I was wondering kung bakit hindi siya pumapasok. Pero nang makita ko kung anong tinitignan niya, I can't help but to smile. He was standing outside of your clasroom, leaning on the wall and secretly looking at you." Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. I didn't know that happened. Pero imposible. If he's really looking at me from afar, I would have still feel someone staring at me. Or maybe my full attention was fixed to the boys kaya hindi ko napapansin?