Let me save you (Completed/Editing)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Four - Let Me Save You

(*Excuse any errors)

-Jordan-

If given the chance, I would run straight through these glass windows and end it all. I don't want to be here, I have no interest in listening to re-enlightenment stories from former drunks. Unfortunately, I made a promise to my dad, myself, and Blaine. I am here to get help and I am here to learn how to cope. So far, the only thing I've learned is how to pretend like I'm actually listening.

"Jordan, would you like to share something? Anything." Jackie says softly. Jackie is the facilitator for this meeting, she's nice and she speaks in a very calm manner which calms people. Out of the fifteen of us, she chooses me, why me?

"Hmm, what is there to share? I have a problem and I'm here to get help..." I say dryly. She nods, "Problem with what exactly?" She asks and I feel my eye twitch with frustration. With jolly ranchers...this is a fucking Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, what else would I have problem with?

"...drinking. Am I in the wrong place?" I ask looking at all the frowned faces. Most of them look to be in their mid-forties, maybe late thirties. "You're in the right place. I am just asking to further understand your situation...if you don't want to share right now, it's perfectly okay." Jackie assures. I sigh, maybe I shouldn't be an asshole. I'm here for help.

"Okay. Uhm, I have a drinking problem. It first started when I lost my mom, I stopped for a while and then two years ago, I lost someone really special to me. His death was sudden and I wasn't ready to say goodbye so soon so I fell back into my old habits. I drank to help me cope with the pain, the alcohol made me numb temporarily and I enjoyed not being able to feel. Um, I'm trying to stop...I'm trying to move on...that's why I'm here." I say looking directly at Jackie. I don't like being looked at with pity.

"Thank you for sharing Jordan," Jacky says calmly.

"Thank you for sharing Jordan." All fourteen men say at the same time. Shoot me in the face!

Later...

The meeting was excruciatingly annoying to sit through and I don't see myself going to another one. Jackie wants me to come to talk to her in private after the next meeting which doesn't sound too promising. She's probably going to scold me for being so negative.

"Jordan! You're back! We're watching Christmas movies, want to join?" Elaine shouts from the couch. I turn to her and smile, "Which ones?" I ask trying to sound interested. "Home Alone, the first one...we're doing a marathon." She says giddily.

"Hmm, maybe I'll join when you get to three. Right now I'm pretty tired." I say running my hand through my hair. She smiles, "Okay! Take a nap." She orders. I chuckle, "Will do."

I look up at the clock and it reads '6:57 PM'. The sun has set and I'm glad I got home before the snow started falling. It's fun to watch snowfall but driving in it is a nightmare. My office door is closed and I can't hear any noise coming from inside. My dad must have finished work early. "Hey, Bud!" Hunter calls out from the stairs. I look down at him, "Hi Hunter, have you seen my dad?" I ask shoving my hands in my pocket.

"Oh yeah, he went out for dinner with some pals. Said he'll be back later. How was your meeting?" He asks in a hushed tone. I wanted to stab myself. "Unbearable," I answer flatly.

"If you don't want to self inflict an injury at an AA meeting, are you really there?" He asks with a chuckle. He does have a point. "You're not wrong. Hey, um, have you see Blaine?" I ask scratching the back of my head.

"Oh, earlier he was in the library but I haven't seen him since. Maybe he's in his room." He shrugs. I nod, "Thanks, Hunter. I'm done for the day so if you need me just knock on my door."I say offering him a warm smile.