Let me save you (Completed/Editing)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Seven - Let Me Save You

(*Excuse any errors)

-Blaine-

I twist and turn tirelessly as I wait for Jordan to come back. I'm worried that he might be out drinking, I didn't say where he was going, he just got in his car and left. It's all my fault, he just wanted to know about my dream.

I'm an idiot. In fear of not stressing him out more, I did worse. I'm not even sure if I'm still engaged to him, he was pretty angry when he left. Fuck why didn't I just tell him?

I slide out of the bed and head downstairs. The house is eerily quiet and dark. I check the kitchen, the living room, game room, gym, and even the garden but no one is there.

The last place to check is the garage, I don't know why he would just be in the garage but it's worth it to check. I push the door open and look towards where he usually parks.

I sigh when I see him sitting in the passenger seat with his head on the steering wheel. I walk towards the car and knock on the window. Without looking up, he unlocks the door.

Quietly, I get in the passenger seat. First thing I notice is two unopened bottles of whiskey and a receipt. I fucked up. Did he buy more than two and drink the others? Is he drunk?

"I'm sorry," I speak up softly.

He remains quiet. I bite my lip and fiddle with the drawstrings of my sweatpants. "I realize that I'm not the easiest to deal with. I'm sorry that I lied to you but really I was just trying to handle it alone..."

"Jordan?" I ask when I notice that he's super quiet.

He ignores me. I guess I deserve it. "Have you been drinking?" I ask looking down at the bottles. He sits back in the seat and runs his hands down his face, "No. I wanted to but I couldn't bring myself to open them. I was afraid to disappoint you," He finally speaks up.

I frown.

"In my dream, I am standing where my father stood, I am holding the gun and I have it pointed at a faceless body. The only emotions I can feel are fear and anger. Then, I pull the trigger and wake up. I started having it since John told me about my dad's parents. I'm afraid that history will repeat itself and I'll hurt you. Like my dad, I'm still emotionally scarred from what happened. I still hold a lot of anger toward him..."

"You're afraid you're going to kill me one day and you didn't think it was a problem to not tell me?" He says calmly which scares me more than if he was angry. I bite my lip and nod, "It is, I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to worry,"

"When it comes to you, I'm always worried. It helps when you tell me things because I don't have to constantly wonder how you're doing. You are not your father, other factors made your dad lose it, not just what happened to him. We can work on your anger and anything else that you're struggling with, you just have to transparent with me." He looks deep into my eyes with seriousness. I nod in understanding, "I'm sorry. I don't want to marry my therapist, I want to marry you. Only you," I mumble as I wipe my teary cheek.

"Please don't lie to me, ever."

I nod and grab his hand. I don't like when he's upset with me. It feels awful. "Still love me?" I ask shyly. He chuckles, "Unconditionally," He turns to me and pulls me in for a kiss. His lips don't taste like alcohol which brings me more comfort in knowing that he didn't break his sobriety.

"Can we go to bed now?" I ask tiredly. He nods, "Yeah, I'll put these in the kitchen. Helena can find a place for them in the cellar." He says grabbing the two bottles. I nod, and we both step out of the car.