As One

Chapter 22

Shaking and stuttering, she couldn't get her words out. As all I got was, 

''Noah. Not breathing.''

Those words almost caused me to stop breathing. 

On instinct, I take Noah from Dianne as I try to wake him as she phones for an ambulance, just as he comes round. An almighty, loud and piercing screen came from his lungs. ''Hey, hey, shh, you're OK. I've got you, buddy. It's OK.'' I coo, rocking him back and forth, trying to calm him down.

Dotty comes rushing back in, seeing he's awake. ''Is he OK?'' She asks, tears running down her face.

''I think so. He came round on his own a few seconds later,'' I reply. ''Do you have any idea what could have caused it?''

''I've no idea. One minute he was playing happily, the next he went blue and stopped breathing.'' She bursts into tears. Making sure Noah was still breathing, I wrap an arm around Dot and pull her closer, comforting her.

''Hey, hey, shh, I've got ya darling,'' I rub her back. ''Did you phone an ambulance?'' 

She nods, ''Yeah, we just need to wait.''

/ / / / 

''You gave your parents a fright, hey buddy?'' Drake, the Paramedic, says. ''He has what is called Periodic breathing.'' 

''What's that?'' I ask.

''It basically means that he may have breathing that pauses for up to 10 seconds at a time. Which is called periodic breathing. There may be several such pauses close together, followed by a series of rapid, shallow breaths. This irregular breathing pattern is common in premature babies in the first few weeks of life. 

But healthy, full-term babies sometimes have spells of periodic breathing. These episodes often happen when the infant is sleeping deeply. But they can sometimes happen with light sleep or even when the baby is awake.

 A baby with periodic breathing will always restart normal breathing on his own. No intervention is needed. Although this can be alarming when it happens,  it is a perfectly harmless condition and it will go away as your baby gets older.'' Drake hands us a leaflet with more information on it.

''So we don't need to do anything? Like, he doesn't need an medication?'' 

''Nope, he's fine. 100%. I know it's worrying, but if it does happen again, just comfort him as normal and let him come round on his own. What you did there, Joe, was incredible. Your parenting instincts kicked in,'' Drake smiles. ''You should be proud. This little fella has a great Dad.''

Dianne smiles. ''Oh I am, 100%. Noah has a pretty amazing Dad.''

I shrug. ''I didn't do much.''

''Nonsense, Joe,'' Drake shakes his head. ''You may not know this, but when they're having an episode, because you picked him up, as they can sense it's you by your smell, touch or voice, it calms them down. And makes them come round quicker. Your son knew it was you, hence why he came round quicker.'' 

''So you're saying, Joe saved our son?'' I could see the ends of Dianne's mouth curl into a smile.

''Yes, I am saying that,'' He nods. ''You're a hero, Joe.'' He smiles, patting my back.

''I only did what any parent would do,'' I say. ''I'd anything for my son. I don't consider myself a hero.'' I smile.

''Joe, just take the compliment.'' Dot giggles.

''OK, thank you.'' I smile.

''So I've looked him over, and he's perfectly fine. But if you have concerns in a few days, please don't hesitate to contact me, or my colleague, OK?''

''Of course, thank you so much, Drake.'' We both smile, letting him out.

/ / / /

''Joe, come and eat,'' Dianne calls up the stairs, hearing her footsteps. She comes into Noah's room and puts a hand on my shoulder. ''Darling, you can leave him. He's fine.'' 

I sigh. ''I can't,'' I shake my head. ''What if he has another one once we're downstairs? I know what Drake said, but I'm terrified, Dot. Seeing my little boy all limp and lifeless scared the shit out of me, I'd thought we'd lost him, Di.'' The tears I'd had kept in, had now spilled down my face.

Feeling her petite arms wrap around me, she pulls me into her and lets me cry. ''I'm sorry.'' I sniff, wiping at my arms. 

''You don't need to be sorry, Joe. I know how much you love that little boy. What you did today, was incredible. You didn't even think twice. You did what any parent would do. You saved our son, Joe,'' She kisses my lips. ''And you were worried you'd be a shit Dad. You're far from it, bub. You are the best Dad to little Noah, ever.'' She stands me up. 

''Dance with me?'' I take her hand, as she starts to sing, beautifully, may I add.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song
When I saw you in that suit, looking so handsome
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And he looks perfect
I don't deserve this
You look perfect tonight

Once we'd stopped dancing, I kiss her lips. 

''You, Joseph Graham Sugg, are incredible, OK? Our son, and I, are the most luckiest people in the world. I want our son to turn out like you. Selfless, funny, a heart of pure gold and talented. Because that's what you are, Joe. 

You always put others first before yourself. When I'd told you I had a miscarriage you promised me you'd never leave me, no matter what happened. You were there straight away for Zoe when she miscarried.

Even with the whole Mara situation, when I thought I was miscarrying again, you were there. You're, in my eyes, a hero. And I love you, so so much.''

Placing my lips on hers, I mumble. ''I love you, too,'' Before kissing them. "More than you ever know."

Smiling, she pulls away. ''Now will you please come and eat something?''

I nod. ''Lead the way.''