Remember To Remember Me| KJM

Chapter Sixteen

Lying in the middle of his bed with Emma lying on top of him, skin to skin, their bodies were burning and a few drops of sweat were falling from Suho's hair, covered with the sheet and Emma wrapped in the boy's arms and his head on his chest. The two in silence trying to regulate their breaths.

She lets go of his arms and rolls over to his side, and pulls the sheet with her as she stands up putting on Suho's T-shirt, which was the first thing that came into her hand, also putting on her underwear, and looks at Suho still lying on the bed. She sits on the bed with both legs up and plays with her hands as she looks down, Suho pulls his body up to sit and takes his hand to Emma's wrist, caressing. They both knew they had to talk, but neither wanted to.

"Should I make something for us to eat? Are you hungry?" Suho asks for the girl's attention. She looks away, focusing on him and shakes her head. 

"I help you." 

He shakes his head and gets out of bed, puts on his boxers and sweatpants and Emma approaches him, waiting to go to the kitchen. Suho grabs her by the waist and gives her a soft kiss on the lips. Grabbing her by the hand, he pulls her into the kitchen. They open the shelves and take out some things. Suho put the frying pan on the stove and Emma still asked several times if she could do the rest, but he always denied it and made her sit in the chair and just watch. With things already ready, Suho puts the food on the table and sits in front of Emma. The couple ate in silence. They both wondered who would be the first to bring it up.

****

They were both still quiet. They'd already seen two movies and still didn't mention anything. They just wanted to enjoy every minute of each other's warmth and love and not have a conversation that would hurt them. But the subject was driving Emma crazy. She grabs the remote next to Suho and pauses the movie. Suho looked at her confused but when he noticed her sad expression, he didn't mention anything. He waited for her to speak.

"We can no longer ignore this." Emma starts. "How is it going to be, Suho?" It was time. Suho sighs.

"You know how it's going to be. I'm not just going to give up on you unless you tell me you want that."  He says. Emma looks down now, biting her lip.

"It's not what I want Suho, but I can't hold you either." She looks at him again, Suho sighs deeply and shakes his head.

"Are you holding me or am I holding you? There's a difference." 

"I don't want to let you go, but it's not fair for me to hold you and you to me when we don't know if we'll even see each other again..." Emma explains what she meant. Suho put his hand over hers and grab it.

"We can try? I can work extra shifts to save some money to go to Denmark to visit you." He suggests options other than ending it all there.

"You'd have to come back too." Emma replies. 

"If you think what we have can work, going through a little struggle won't break us apart. Not even the distance." Suho would not give up, and although it made Emma happy to see that he liked her enough not to want to let her go, she knew it wasn't fair and couldn't ask her for such a thing when there was no certainty. She shows a little smile that fades away quickly.

"I don't know. I don't want any of us to get hurt." She says. 

"What's a little bit of hurt if in the end we manage to be together?" He squeezes her hand and gets close to her, with his free hand he pulls away the lock of hair that was in front of her eyes behind her ear. She sighs.

"But what certainties do we have of that? We're so young yet, so much can happen." Emma says.  "And don't get me wrong, I want to be with you, but I don't know if holding each other is the best for us."

"I won't push it anymore, Emma. If you think that's the best, I'll have to accept it." Suho says. Not forcing anymore. She felt on the verge of collapsing in tears, closed her eyes for brief moments and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." 

"You're right. I won't hold you." He nods. 

****

The girl left Suho's house, she didn't feel good about staying there and pretending she hadn't broken his heart. She said goodbye to him with just a tight hug, and a "see you tomorrow" that was uncertain. Not that she would avoid him until she left. It wasn't right and she really liked him, but he worked and she still didn't know what Anneliese's plans were for their last days on vacation.

Emma knew her friend was with Kai and didn't want to ruin her night by texting her to say she needed her. It wasn't fair. Anneliese also deserved her time and enjoy with Kai who, although they had nothing, knew they both liked each other and should talk about it. She took a deep breath and rushed to the resort. When she got to the suite and opened the door, she ran into the blonde lying in bed. Emma frowned.

"Hey, I thought you were with Kai." Emma approaches her friend and sits on the end of the bed. 

"Hey. Yeah, I was but he was tired so I told him to rest." She answers. And looks confused too. "I thought you were going to spend the night at Suho's place."

"It didn't feel right." Emma says. Anneliese frowned. 

"Why? What happened?"

"It's not like we had anything  to officially say we broke up, but I guess that it." Emma shrugs. Confused about how she was going to explain herself.

"Wait. What? Why? What did he do? Do I have to go to his house to punch him? Cause I will." Anneliese is shocked for brief moments and fires several questions and threatens Suho at the end. Emma chuckles.

"He did nothing wrong." Emma shakes her head. "He was perfect from the beginning. I just don't think we should hold ourselves when we're not sure that we'll see each other again."

"Oh Emma, but he was so into you. And I know you were too. Wasn't it worth the shot?" Anneliese approaches her friend and puts her hand on her shoulder. Emma shakes her head.

"I'm just afraid it would hurt him even more, or him to me. It's not like the distance is that easy to handle. I cannot ask him to work every day to save money and go visit me, I cannot ask him not to move on and be happy because he is waiting for something uncertain. I love him and I have to let him go." 

"You're right. I'm sorry..." Anneliese wraps Emma in her arms, hugging and squeezing her. Emma hugs back.