Make Me (MxM)

Nine

Shame: Is a painful emotion caused by the consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety, also used for the condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute. 

Also, it is something that a certain demon has absolutely zero of. 

After what happened, Jude left for a day, as if this was something that a decent person would do. I do not care one fucking bit, who called him, even if it was satan himself, I could not give a damn!

The duty to explain the situation to Suzy and Veronica fell to me and since I am a responsible and relatively good human being, it was clear as day to me, that I owe them both an apology, and also that it's almost impossible for either of them to forgive me at this point. 

So what did I do? 

I never showed up at our arranged meeting. 

Somewhere deep inside I knew that wasn't right, but then again, even if I did go, not much would've changed for them. I cheated on Veronica, Jude straight up used Suzy like a pawn, and, even though I cared for her, it was hard to face them after what happened, especially because most of all, I was also angry at myself. 

And last but not least... I thought it's best for both of them if they distance themselves from me and Jude, knowing what was ahead. I knew that what I was about to go through with, requires certain cruelty from me, my vengeance demands me to be something I'm not particularly proud of. I can't have it all, in exchange for my revenge, I must let go of the ones not involved, for their sakes. 

But regardless, every action has their consequence, and mine resulted in my work hours becoming my personal-hell. Even though I avoided Suzy, I could feel her angry gaze at me, and whenever I would be forced to talk to her, she was cold and distant. I lost her as a friend, and instead of trying to help the situation, I felt like I'm digging my hole even deeper. 

As the end hours rolled by, I knew that I will soon be free, but as we started to clean the tables, the entrance bell gently alarmed us of an unwanted guest. It was the end of our shift, and we already placed the "closed" sign on the door, but we soon realized who it was. The familiar invading scent, and presence, that somehow filled any room without a problem, and hugged me tightly, almost depriving me of air, or at least it felt like. 

"Jude" I breathed, not because I was so amazed or glad to see him, but because it literally astonished me that he had the fucking audacity to show up here. His clothes were the ones he had left in, the dark cape-like coat, and the deep velvet dress-shirt that hugged his toned torso. His dark hair pushed back, revealing each of his sharp features. 

"I just came to pick Seth up" he announced, while Suzy stared at him dumbfounded, trying to process the complete coldness the demon showed in her direction. I could never imagine Jude's cruelty could go so far, but he didn't even flinch or force a smile. He had no guilt, and I could tell, and I was repulsed by him so I turned away, pretending to wash the counter-top. 

Maybe I envied him more than I'd like to admit. I wanted to lift the heavyweight of remorse from my chest, but I'm afraid that part is directly attached to my humanity. 

"You are fucking great" Suzy hissed, her words sounding desperately heartbroken and hurt, and I knew that I should've done something, to help my friend. I caused this, and there was nothing I could've really said to fix it. And I also didn't wish to. Suzy had to learn once and for all, who Jude was... To stay away from him, and I hoped this pain will be enough to do the dirty work. 

"Pardon?" Jude glanced at the girl, reserved and cold, his face unreadable. 

"Don't "pardon" me... I can't believe you have the nerve to come here, and act as nothing happened! How long has it been going on? All along? Or is this relationship a new hobby for you? Something like me? Something to kill time with?" she snapped, but then again, they were the perfect contrast; While Suzy was clearly on the verge of crying, Jude didn't even blink or move his mouth from the perfect line it was settled in.