Death University

Chapter 73

Chapter 73: Connivance

"Even if I met you first, you're not him... You're not Dark."

I said those words with certainty. I said those words without even stuttering. I know I was brutal.

I know it will hurt him but I have to do this. Maybe Madame was... right. I'm no good for him. I shouldn't even be his friend. This is my fault why he's being like this. Right now, he's not the Selton I know. The Selton I know is naughty, joyful, and energetic. But this Selton in front of me, is different. Way different.

He looked really pained because of the words that came out of my mouth. My heart hurt while saying those hurtful words. But I know he's hurt more than I am.

"That stings," Aniya at pinikit ang mga mata. "But I know you're doing this intentionally."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. I couldn't hide my shock.

He laughed sarcastically. "I knew my mother would be like this... She wants you to stay away from me, right?"

Hindi ako makasagot.

"I just can't believe you would do what she wanted you to do,"

"S-Selton, at first I thought it's an absurd idea. I don't want our friendship to—"

"Goddamnit, we're not friends anymore, Demerine! I just told you that!"

Nagitla ako sa pagtaas ng boses niya. Mukhang nagulat naman siya sa inasal niya. Ginulo niya ang buhok niya at pumikit saglit.

He opened his eyes and looked intently at me. "I'm sorry,"

"Look, Selton, you're hurting because of me. The only thing that I can do is stay away from you—"

"It's not your fault, okay? It's mine. I was the one who had feelings for you. Don't blame yourself over and over again."

"You still want to see me after all of this?" Tanong ko naman sa kanya.

"Yes," He said without restraint. "Even if you don't want me like I want you, I still want to see you."

I don't know what to say. He will be hurt more if he sees me.

"But right now, I need space. I need to think and renew myself. This isn't easy for me."

"I know it's not easy for you. But please don't be hard on yourself too."

Mapait siyang ngumiti. "Yes, I think I'm being hard on myself. I have been asking myself... am I not enough? What do I lack?"

"Listen to me, you don't lack anything. You are enough and worth it, Selton. Hindi lang talaga ako ang tamang tao para sayo. You deserve better."

I saw a tear fall from his eye. What the fuck... no. The Selton I know wouldn't do this. I never saw him like this!

"People might think of me as a jerk and a playboy who won't be serious at all. But Demerine, you were the first one to make me feel this way."

My heart is beating so fast because of his words. Then... am I his first love? Do I even deserve to be?

"Never have I ever thought that I will be experiencing this. You changed my outlook. And you changed me." He said and I could feel his sincerity. "Do you still remember the time when I saw you crying?"

Agad ko namang naalala. I then nodded at him with a smile. He was so sweet to give me his handkerchief that day.

"Why are you crying? Sinong nagpaiyak sayo?" He asked me and he walked towards me. Tinignan kong maigi ang mukha niya at nakikita ko na concern na concern siya sa akin.