Creative Deco; A Review Shop ↠ (CLOSED) ✔

LindaLsc - Tears' Curse

Title: Tears' Curse
Chapters read: 23
Score: 6/10

INTRODUCTION:
To be honest, I am not a fan of fantasy novels and such yet surprisingly, I was entertained by your work. Though yes not a fantasy fanatic, dragons had always fascinated me along with mythology. Your story, a combination of fiction and Chinese mythology instantly clicked with me. Though to be honest, if I were a normal reader browsing for books to read, the synopsis wouldn't have drawn me in. It was just too direct for me, though it did emphasize mystery at the end and incited some curiosity, the first part was, in just my opinion, kinda bland and unprofessionally created. Extra points for the cover though, as it really emphasized the central theme of your story, fantasy and romance of course!

What I LIKED about your story:
Can I just pause and admire Miracle's character development? Miracle literally is the epitome of character development. From a dragon reconsidering oath and tradition, to one determined to save humans at all costs.

Your description is also great. The way you made the scenes flow with ease is one of the reasons why I enjoyed your story so much.

I also love the characters of course. Kingsley and Lyn are perfectly put to be comedic reliefs when the story's becoming too serious. But behind those, you have shown a darker, or albeit, a more sorrowful side to each character. Such as Mr. Hayden's loathing to a TinXi, and Miracle's determination to work, not to upheld her oath, but actually, to avenge her fallen friend. You've definitely shown that everything in a story is not always rainbows and sparkles.

Lastly, you deserve an extra praise for literally capturing a Malaysian's colloquial way of talking!

What I DIDN'T LIKE about your story
Let's address this in a least severe to most severe order.

Let us talk about grammatical errors in description. I know we can't avoid such and they are easy to fix. I'm still gonna point them out for you since I've seen a fair amount of them.

Now let's go to your dialogue. Some lines doesn't sound human at all. They sound like anime dubs, or I don't know because I can literally hear it as I read the lines and they come off as anime dubs. So why you ask? Some lines are just plain awkward when the situation is not supposed to be awkward. This is what people gets wrong when it comes to romance novels, there's just instances that what should've been romantic ends up kind of awkward. Another problem with dialogue is sometimes with the twins. Though they are comedic relief, their lines are sometimes too overcomedic that they actually look unprofessional. Try not to stray too far when it comes to dialogues.

Another problem: point of view. Since you're using a third-person point of view, you can freely speak the mind of many. But one thing that you should avoid is merging two characters povs in one paragraph because this makes it confusing as hell as to who is speaking and to whose thought that came from, this includes dialogue. Try to divide the povs in different paragraphs, don't merge them.

I have also seen a fluctuation in quality. The first chapter started out great. The description was literally amazing, how you described Long Sheng Jie and Miracle's grief. But as I progressed, the quality seemed to have decreased. Chapters were written unprofessionally with poor choice of and overuse of words. Then next chapter, especially in flashbacks, the description is amazing again. But when it comes to school, it just seemed rushed. Try to be constant with your writing style. If you feel tired when you're writing, you should rest your mind. That's a reminder that you've ran out of creative juice and probably needs inspiration to refill it again, don't force yourself to write.

CONCLUSION
Overall, your story was great. I enjoyed it as the plot was well-paced and entertaining. I believe this story and you yourself has a lot of potential. You are creative, don't let go of that. Keep practicing and practicing and hopefully, you'll be the best of yourself in the future.