Creative Deco; A Review Shop ↠ (CLOSED) ✔

smallwinter - Color Stains

Title: Color Stains
Chapters read 5/5
Score: 4/10

INTRODUCTION:
Color Stains could've taken the trophy. Engaging characters and beautiful relationship chemistry would've made the story great. If not for its cliche set-up, fast-paced and awkward narration, and confusing details. Color Stains is surely a story buried in layers of mistakes.

What I LIKED about your book:
I wanted to point out how sweet and authentic the chemistry between Erik and Ivy. It was heavily portrayed that they enjoy each other's company and that the more they spend their time together, the more they connect personally and emotionally. I can see that their relationship is already building up into one that is special.

Your writing is very descriptive. I can see that every action of Ivy is captured and detailed, although I found it excessive at some points, most were pretty balanced, resulting in smooth scenes and an effective narrating point.

The characters were well-done. I can say that your characters are unique on their own accord, not to mention, very lovable and relatable. I really like how you portray their personal struggles with their problems and how they deal with them emotionally, it gives further depth and personality into these characters if yours, making them appear more human.

What I DIDN'T LIKE about your book:
The premise was bland and I shall expand on that.

Let's start with the details that I found really bizarre. First is: the drunk scene.

So Ivy finds Erik passed out in the bathroom. He probably was too drunk to drive himself home so Ivy drives him home. What is nagging me though is: couldn't she have called an uber for him? I mean, why go through all that hassle Ivy. Plus I can see that she and Frank clearly didn't acknowledge the danger drunk men possessed. She drove him home and I understand that she's just trying to be a good samaritan. Yet it bothered me that she didn't think of what this complete stranger (Bonus, he's drunk too.) was capable of. I won't enumerate the possibilities.

She then went out with this man. Like, he puked in your car. It's not wrong to not accept but a little bit of self-thought in Ivy's character, especially suspicion, would've helped make their encounter more realistic. But she just accepted right away, throwing away all the risks once more.

I can't enumerate all of my thoughts in their encounter but if you don't get my point feel free to dm me, I'll gladly expand on it more.

At this point, their encounter feels so forced, bent to the will of the writer to serve the plot, even if it avoids all common sense. It's okay to start relationships with this strategy but the fact that Ivy fell into this without a single inch of caution or suspicion makes her a really lucky and stupid character. For all we know, Erik could've been a serial killer but oh well, all for the plot.

Delving deeper into the encounter, I can see that Erik's too comfortable and again, I don't know how Ivy's treating it that casually. They go out for a kind-of-pay-you-back type of out. Erik treats this as a date though just because they got comfortable telling each other personal stories?

Moving on, I found that you've included a lot of unnecessary details here. Morning routine, shift at the grocery store, food preparation, all unnecessary and boring. I feel like this dance could've been used more for character introduction and development instead of exploring what she does every day as this can be represented in later chapters. It's important that you draw readers early on in the story and it's because the premise is what hooks you into the book. Frankly, though, I don't think a morning routine would hook me into a story.

Moving on. Another thing that I found in your story is its occasional lack of transitions. There were scenes where there were no indications that a period of time has passed by, hopping from one period to another without giving a single clue. For me, it takes a lot of re-reading to piece it out together, re-reading that would've been fixed easily with a transition.

I gotta say that I found the narration flawed when it came to detailing the scene's world-building and scenery. Descriptive as you may be, I see that you focused most of your attention on your characters and spared none for the space they were in. Complete with the lack of other sensory details, I cannot actually piece the space they are in. It's more of a blank room in my mind. Subtle clues would've fared and would've been effective.

CONCLUSION:
As much as I can see the potential in this story, I cannot help but see the flaws too.

Right now, the story sounds like a forced, fast-paced relationship rather than one built in experience and love. Romance should always never be subjective, you cannot let your own personal tastes mingle with how your characters build their relationship together.

But aside that, it was enjoyable.

A few changes to the plot and the characters and honestly, I would definitely fall in love in this story.