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_LadyBex_ - Calytrix's Journey

Title: Calytrix's Journey
Chapters read: 7
Score: 6/10

INTRODUCTION:
Calytrix's Journey is a tale of survival, adaptation, and destiny. It follows Calytrix, a young witch who has just begun a journey and unravels how dangerous and deceiving the real world is. Fun and action-packed, though I found the writing quite unprofessional at times and the mannerisms of the characters and the people themselves are a little not appropriate for the era they are set in.
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What I LIKED about your book:
The first thing I would point out is that I love your plot. For me, it's very unique. It's not the typical witch-fantasy type of fantasy but rather, has a tinge of adventure into it. Although I've heard of journeying witches before, a world where witches are mandatory to travel around the land in 20 years-old is definitely an original and, should I say, a bizarre rule. The plot is also filled to the brim with action, sparing the boring details and jumping right into the exciting ones, which honestly incites me to read further.

The details and storytelling are praisable. I like how you described your scenes. It's like, a mix of color and info but in this case, the color significantly towers over the info and it actually became a sort of a device, making the scenes sound more smoothly and flowy.

The characters were made for the story. Calytrix is very suitable for her role as a wandering witch, given that she's always curious and rather, investigative yet resents the decision to leave home. She's on a pursuit for knowledge and place in a world she does not know. The supporting characters do their jobs really well, either acting as antagonistic forces that drive the conflict or serving as comedic reliefs after serious or depressing moments.

What I DIDN'T LIKE about your book:
As I said earlier, I think the mannerisms of the people are not appropriate for this era. Let me elaborate on that:

First, the manner of speaking and dialogue here is not suited for the medieval atmosphere and setting of the story. It's more of an informal type of lingo intertwined with a medieval-modern language.

Second, I don't actually get the limits of their technology here. I see that Calytrix doesn't have a lot of clue on what a doctor is, but as the king was harvesting the children's organs, it made a conflict. Yes, it can be used in dark spooky spells but it wasn't elaborated much on and I think most of your readers would resort to thinking that these organs would be used in transplants.

Moving on, I saw that you lacked in transitions. There were chapters where scenes moved from one to another without transitions and anything that would've indicated the scene hop. This generally generates confusion and incoherence, as the rapid change in two scenes can result in a common reader mistake of merging scenes. It puts a dent into your flow.

The massive use of connecting conjunctions gave some scenes a rather unprofessional vibe. The redundancy of the words and the conjunctions gave it an unpleasant reading manner. Lessen them more by narrating scenes more freely and loosened.

CONCLUSION:
I enjoyed reading this, to be honest, the plot is very original and entertaining. There were just some instances that the writing just really sounded rushed.

Regarding the mannerism of your characters, I found the main problem is the dialogue. Try to align it more into the era, read classical books, Shakespeare, and delve into how his characters speak, or perhaps our fellow fantasy Wattpad authors here, they can be a huge help.

Keep writing!