Title: The Phantom's Queen
Chapters Read: 7
Score: 5.5/10INTRODUCTION:
The Phantom's Queen is truly a melancholic tale. One that sweeps you away with a combination of intrigue and sorrow. But don't get swept too easily, the story's confusing structure, narrative, and the sheer amount of wrongfully-placed info definitely stand like an unpassable obstacle towards a smooth story.What I LIKED about your book:
The book's premise was very intriguing and frankly, it invoked my curiosity early on in the book. This undoubtedly made me want to read more and to further answer the questions in the book's rather mysterious opening. It's definitely a well-composed premise that promised to do its duty: to hook readers into the story.The plot is very unique compared to other romance novels in Wattpad, which is literally overlapping when it came to similar plots. Not to mention, the added enigma to the plot is a really fine touch to it.
Details would've been great but let's emphasize those that received praise. The scenery was not forgotten and that's a commendable factor. Each scene has details regarding scenery which not only added more smoothness to the scene but also lots of colors. I also liked the way you described your characters' movements and emotions, it really did a great work in creating a better emotional impact on us readers.
I'm also definitely vibing with the characters, love them, and their precious personalities, to be honest, especially Aya and Nurse Kim.
What I DIDN'T LIKE about the book:
The first thing that I would highlight is the excessive amount of Aya's moping when it came to the crime. Yes, of course, it's understandable but it's too excessive that it looks like she's not representing grief but rather, trying to farm pity from the readers. It was kind of a hit to her character when almost all of her sentences in chapter 1 had a form reference to the event, which kinda made her look desperate.The details were awkwardly phrased at many moments, which led to mild confusion. There were some details that would've sounded better and more precise and smooth if the right amount of information and word fillers we're enforced.
The narration was very confusing also, often rapidly transferring from one character to another without a smooth transition. Pointing out the narrator at the beginning of a new point of view is an easier way out, but you still need to create the transition of one event to another in order to make the story flow more accurately in the direction it is headed to.
CONCLUSION:
Although your story was enjoyable, you still need to work on a few things. It's just one step away from becoming a masterpiece, and your plot is definitely the one that would get it into that.With a few minor edits and such, I sure would love to read this again.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/219457162-288-k75646.jpg)
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