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Isabelladear - Solemnly Swear

Title: Solemnly Swear
Chapters read: 4/13
Score: 4.5/10

INTRODUCTION:
Solemnly Swear is a fun and hilarious Harry Potter fanfic that would've impressed with the characters and detailing, but disappoints at the plot's lack of intrigue and entertainment.

What I LIKED about your book:
Although I'm not an avid fan of Harry Potter, with my limited knowledge, I actually got Harry Potter vibes here. You've perfectly captured the essentials when it came to writing fanfics, and on this hand you've also captured the essentials when writing Harry Potter itself.

I love how you detailed your scenes although you kind of lacked when it came to scenery, but it was not that severe, the scenes were still quite had the color in them.

Your characters are also so lovable and adorable! I just find them so British and it's cute. I love the fact that they acted like their age, you've flawlessly got the right spirit for these teenagers.

What I DIDN'T LIKE about your book:
The plot was just too bland that the flow of the story became boring. The first 3 chapters are literally just classes and smalltalk, and albeit you've explored your characters personalities, it still wasn't interesting to draw your readers into the book. You've also tried to set up a plot device with Potter and Millie, but unfortunately, I was just far too bored enough to care.

Try to explore more backstory at your early chapters or at least put some situations where your character will surely be hooked and would stick with your story. I just felt the story lacked these hooks and you've lost me at chapter 4.

Although the details were great, there were just some unnecessary metaphors used in here. These metaphors didn't sound relevant nor exciting at all, they sounded like obvious word fillers. There were also some scenes that the details kinda sounded awkward as they were directly fed to the reader, and adding salt to injury is that this book is in third-person. There was also a redundancy of words at close proximity, which kinda hurt in the ears when read, try to diversify your words in order to avoid these.

CONCLUSION:
Your book literally has the potential. You just need to rearrange your plot. Pace it a little faster, drop in some extra scenes. Really find that device or technique that will draw your readers in.

As always, keep writing! Keep practicing!