Title: Legacy of the Black Phoenix
Chapters read: 5
Score: 5/10INTRODUCTION:
Sprites details the story of Vidaj, a boy with the ability to manipulate the shadows, as his life is shaken when monsters awaken. The story itself is an avid representation of superhero stories, complete with fun characters. What's unpleasant, though, is that the story itself does not stray away from other superhero stories of its genre, stripping it's right to uniqueness, and the rather unsettling balance of information and color that seems to envelop the story's writing style.What I LIKED about your book:
I can see that the story's premise has been resourcefully used as a space of introducing your world and your characters. In the span of these chapters, you developed an insight into your world such as how the characters occupy this fictional plane and how it's nature bends to your liking, example is by giving these children superpowers and of course, the corrupted sprites. Not only was it also used to introduce the world, it was also used to institute your characters.I've seen that the early chapters were more focused on character growth and inauguration instead of building into the plot and conflict. For me, it was a smart move. It balanced the character building and plot, which resulted in well-known and relatable personalities as the plot starts to bud.
I gotta admit, I love how you displayed your characters' actions with authenticity. You really know the extent if a kid's emotion and how they would deal with different stuff in their daily routines. it's not the overdid, typical stereotypical type of American kid. No, it's a mix of unique personalities.
What I DIDN'T LIKE about your book:
I have to say that as much as I loved your characters, the way that you described them to me is clearly not in a way I was expecting. You see, I feel like most of the details here, especially when it came to characters, are spoon-fed.The first sentences of the story were very good. I figured that your writing style would be very descriptive, until I read further and watched it decay. It turned from this smooth, descriptive and entertaining way of narration into a sort of rushed, info dump. This is not the case for all, though I noticed that your writing style is very inconsistent.
The plot itself wasn't very unique either. This is not really a problem for me but I don't sense a tinge of uniqueness from the book (or unless I read further.) It starts off with a cliche 2000s coming-of-age-esque movie type of opening where each part of the routine of the. haracter is thoroughly detailed (exclude the dream though, I found it as a good plot-starter. You just gotta put a more clarified transition between the dream and the reality to avoid confusion.)
Everything seemed like it was borrowed from a movie. I know it might actually stir away from this path and create it's own pavement of uniqueness. But don't blame me, first opinions are first opinions after all.
CONCLUSION:
It was very entertaining. It's just you gotta stoo compiling every information and proceed to reveal them all in one scene. It drains all the fun and enigma.But overall, the writing here was pretty good. It's just how the story was structured is the real problem.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/219457162-288-k75646.jpg)
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