Stop Bothering Me (Monoma Neito x Reader x Hitoshi Shinso)

Tearful Confessions

There was a familiar, sterile beeping noise. That was the first thing that registered.

I'm still alive.

That's the second thing.

And someone's holding my hand.

I managed to pry my eyes open, immediately giving a gasp of pain as it shot through my body, in my chest and back especially, right next to my spine and about where my heart was.

I saw bright white, the ceiling of a hospital bed.

I felt the person holding my hand jerk awake, surprised to see that I was awake apparently. I turned my head to see Monoma sitting there, rumpled and tired as if he had gotten maybe an hour of sleep in the last week, dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, and he was thinner than he usually was, his blonde hair in disarray as more tears came to his eyes upon meeting my e/c ones.

"Y/n-chan," he whispered, his voice cracking as he started to cry. 

I didn't know what to do, or what to say as I felt like I couldn't move my body without absolute agony wracking it so I cleared my throat and tried to speak.

"H-hi," I managed, gasping in pain as my body ached again anyways. 

"Don't speak," Neito said, his voice cracking again. "Please, don't- you- just almost died! Save your energy, I called the nurses to come and check on you!"

"How- how long- how long have I-" I tried to get out, wincing as my body continued to burn.

"Three weeks," he whispered, pain in his voice. "You were comatose, having lost most of the blood in your body. It's- an actual miracle that you managed to pull through. Your heart was stabbed through by a sword, and we weren't able to get dispatch sent until five minutes after you collapsed on television since the people in the helicopter weren't able to transport you without you losing more blood. And your body was filled with some sort of venom, which we assume is from the devil Azazel that you had been fighting, that took forever to get out of your system."

"Makes- sense," I gasped out, squeezing his hand as my body filled with pain again. "Azazel- is he-"

"He's dead," he confirmed. "He died, and if he didn't, I would have killed him."

"Neito-" I started, trying to ignore my body's spasms. "You're not- not a murderer."

"If you died- I wouldn't be anything," he admitted, his dirty hair falling over his face as he looked down at our clasped hands. "I wouldn't- I haven't been able to think of anything else while you were gone, do you know how many times you flatlined? It scares the hell out of me, seeing you like this, y/n-chan. Seeing how vulnerable you were, I never thought that the image of you being helpless and human would terrify me so absolutely."

"Neito-" I started, but he shook my head, silently telling me not to speak.

"Y/n-chan, I realized that- I love you. More than my own life. More than anything that I've ever loved before, and I know that statement might not say much, as Kendo says. I've got a hole where my heart should be. And despite that, I love you, with all of me," he said, tears dripping down his face as his form shook. "I never fathomed that I could lose you, that the strongest person that I know, have ever known, was still human, you could still die. And now-"

"Neito," I cut him off, forcing myself to sit up, ignoring the pains that filled my body. "Neito, please."

"I know- you could never feel the same," he mumbled, more tears dripping down his face. "I'm sorry- I should've stayed quiet-"