Sweet Boy ✔

eleven

asher
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I woke up in the middle of the night. It was only 3. Zander was still in bed next to me, although he didn't seem as if he was peacefully sleeping. 

I turned off the bedside lamp. It wasn't very bright, but it gave me enough light to be able to see his face. It was scrunched up in an unpleasant way. His forehead was bright red. Little sweat droplets formed at his hairline. His eye suddenly leaked a tear. I knew he was dreaming, and it wasn't a good one. 

"Zander," I shook his shoulder. He stirred, groaning out a noise. 

"Zander, wake up, you're only dreaming," I shook him harder, trying to break him out of his sleep. His eyes opened quickly and looked around the room. He looked at me, and before I could even grasp the moment, his arms were around me. He was crying, sobbing. His head rested on my shoulder. 

"Hey, it's alright. It was only a dream," I rubbed his back, hugging him tightly. "It's alright, I'm here. Calm down," 

We would have been sitting there for at least an hour. His sniffles and quick breaths were the only things filling the room. 

"Are you alright?" I asked softly. He nodded his head slowly. He was still clung on to me, he hadn't let go. 

"Thank you," he muttered out.

He slowly sat back up. His eyes were red and blotchy, but the light was slowly coming back into them. He let a small smile fall to his face, before he laid back down again, pulling the sheets up to his neck. 

"I'm still quite tired, I might try to fall back asleep," I lay down next to him. 

He turned on his side facing me. His eyes stared deep into mine. They were so beautiful. I could get lost in his eyes and I wouldn't mind. 

"What are you staring at?" his voice was calm and sultry. 

"You're eyes. You have really pretty eyes."

"So do you,"I felt my cheeks blush. I couldn't process compliments. I felt like I didn't deserve them.

"No I don't, they're gross, and brown."

"No, they're golden. They shine bright in the sun. Just because they're brown doesn't mean they're not beautiful," wow. 

"You know what they say about brown eyed people."

"What do they say about brown eyed people?" 

"That they're full of shit," he laughed, and it was a gorgeous laugh. 

"Shut up, you're not full of shit," I disagreed. Everyone was full of shit. "Come closer."

I didn't hesitate. I shuffled forward toward him. There were only mere inches between us now. I was so close to him, that I could kiss him right now. He put an arm around my waist, pulling me closer than I already was. It felt so comfortable. I shut my eyes and leaned into his hold. 

Even though I was almost asleep, I didn't miss the small kiss he placed on my forehead. 

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"Shit, shit, Zander, wake up," I shook him violently, awakening from his sleep. 

"Huh? What? What's going on?" he woke up confused. Looking around the room and adjusting to the bright light the sun cast in the room. 

"Conan's like, 5 minutes away. He just sent me a message," it seemed as if that was his lightbulb moment. He raced out of bed, pulling on his shoes and grabbing his things. 

"Fuck. Um, I'll see you later," he looked at me again, and then kissed me. He quickly ran towards the door and left. I heard the front door slam shut and soon the car left the driveway. 

I sat down on my bed. I stared at the vase of sunflowers on my dresser.He kissed me again. I thought the time in the forest was a one time thing. A little heat of the moment type of situation. But he kissed me again, and again. The thought ran through my head. Did he actually like me? Was he even gay?

Was he just using me? Surely not. He wouldn't have taken me out yesterday if he didn't. He did say I was his first kiss with a guy though. Maybe I'm just his experiment, that's why he doesn't want anybody to know. Maybe I'm just a-.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Conan stood in the doorway. I didn't even hear him come inside. 

"Nothing," I looked back to the sunflowers. "It's nothing."

He came into my room, pulling out the chair from my desk and sitting in front of me. 

"Was what you said last week true? Do you actually feel that way?" I nodded my head. I'd lost my happy mood from earlier completely. "I'm sorry, for everything."

"It's not your fault."

"No Ash, it is my fault," he was never one to cry, but I could see the glassy look forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry for fucking your life up! I don't want to make you feel like shit. Trust me on that! I want what's best for you!" his voice was getting louder and louder. You could hear the pain in his words. 

"Conan, it's fin-"

"Stop it! Stop saying it's alright when it's not! Stop trying to cover up your emotions for my sake! I care for you Ash, and I really want to see you happy. I don't want you to live in the shadows and feel belittled. You are the most important person in my life, and to know you're not happy makes me so upset. I want you to have the best of friends and get a really nice boyfriend that treats you like you're a fucking gem. I don't want you to feel as if you're not good enough!" I was crying. Full on crying. The hug he gave me was one like no other. I felt his love through it. I could tell he cared for me, I knew it. I just couldn't believe it enough to see it. I felt so small and I hated it. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry Ash," he pulled away, wiping my face of the tears that fell. "Please forgive me, I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you Conan, never."

We sat in the lounge room for the rest of the day. Dad still hadn't come home. I don't know where he was, but I didn't care. Conan had beat my ass in every single video game we played. Except for Mario Kart. That was the only one I could play, and it was the only one that I could win. 

"I want food," Conan said suddenly, before getting up and heading to the kitchen. "Do you want a coffee?" he yelled out. 

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

"Uhhh, yeah?" the confusion in his voice was comical. 

"Then yes, I would like one please. What a stupid question. When do I ever not want coffee?" 

"Yeah, fair point."

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yall i have a coffee addiction i swear. 

q: tea or coffee? or none, because you're not basic!

a: lol coffee obviously. although, i looooove peach iced tea.

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thanks lovelies <3