Here To Stay

I'm A Bonfire

"I'm so sorry, are you sure you're not hurt?" Kakashi was profusely apologizing for attacking me.

"I told you it's fine. I know that wasn't you."

I had tried to walk away but he caught me by the wrist.

"At least let me buy you Ichiraku's." He looked desperate.

"Ok."

I sighed, how could I say no to such a face. Plus it's free food.

The walk there was silent. Once I had a bowl in my grasp he decided to break the uncomfortable air around us.

"You knew how to calm me down." It was murmured, so quiet I almost didn't hear it.

"It happened a lot at my old place. I'd watch from my door. Guess I picked up a few things."

Sometimes I wouldn't be able to stand by the door, sometimes I had to help because the adults couldn't handle it alone.

My neighbor had a few breakdowns and his girlfriend would need me to help her.

He treated me like a little sister, but he died on a mission.

It wasn't unusual to have a loved one die, in this world it was so normal most people don't give you enough time to move past it.

Everyone had one gone. All anyone could do was pick up the pieces and move on while they grieved.

Kakashi shifted around on his chair. He was just as uncomfortable as me.

"Thank you. I...I probably would have been like that all day if it wasn't for you."

I hummed in response, too busy stuffing my face to respond properly. Once done with my bowl I turned to face him.

"Kakashi-Sensei, you don't have to tell me, but talking about it does help. If you need a shoulder I'm here for you."

It's the least I could do. It hurts that he doesn't like me, but I want him to be happy, and part of that is getting over whatever this is. At least I'll be of some use.

Whatever it is that makes my heart ache so much at the thought of being hated. That makes me so happy when he pays attention. That makes me want to impress him, to make him happy.

'Geez, I sound like I'm a....'

Suddenly the realization crashed over me like a tidal wave.

I like him.

I like Kakashi!

How? When? Why?

'Why am I just realizing this!'

I stared at him for a moment, this was a bit much to process.

I like my Sensei. I want to be with my Sensei. I want...but he treats me so coldly.

Why do I like him? When did it happen? I looked back to my bowl lost in my thoughts.

I knew something was weird with me, being around him was like a double edged sword since... Oh shit! Since the ramen shop!

I heard him laugh and I suddenly...is it that easy to gain a crush?

Sure I've been curious about him since the beginning and I never found anything I truly dislike about him.

But is it really that easy? He's been treating me weird since then too.

Is it because he knew before me!

'Oh fucking shit!'

I have to get away from him. But I can't leave him like this! Maybe if I stay till he wants me to leave. Then I can stop inconvencing him with my feelings.