Here To Stay

Common Sense Has Left Me

      After Kakashi left I cried for hours. Or it felt like hours.

     Why would he give me hope then rip it away? It was painful as fuck. I didn’t know what to do other than cry over my helplessness.

      It had eventually gotten dark and I picked myself up to go home.

    Halfway there I ran into Shikamaru.

     He was going home from training. When he found me crying and invited me to his home.

    Which is how I ended up where I am now. Lying on his bed as he asked his parents if I could stay.

    I had stopped crying now. My pain didn’t end but my ability to create tears did. I stared up at the ceiling, their voices distant.  

     They were hard to understand, like I was under water. Soon the door opened and I turned to see Shikamaru and his father. 

     “Hello, (Y/N). My name is Shikaku. You’re welcome to stay. But first I need you to tell me what happened. Then I’ll inform your parents where you are.” I nodded and sat up. 

      My head pounded and I gulped before saying, “I…I’m having a bit of a mental breakdown at the moment. I had a realization today and I’m really overwhelmed and it’s really not that big of a deal but…But it is right now and I don’t want to go home or bother you but I…I’m sorry I’m just freaking out right now.”

       A fresh set of tears ravaged my eyes again, a sob racking my body. It was pathetic but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to cry only in front of Naruto.

    He’s who I trust.

    To cry in front of these people, they’re practically strangers!

     But I didn’t want Naruto to know. I didn’t want anyone to know! To know I’m not good enough! To know that I’m so confused. 

     I don’t usually cry like this, but I’ve never felt like this before.

    ‘What am I even doing?’

    Coming to Shikamaru’s house. Crying over something so simple. I just need someone.

     But this is so embarrassing!

     Shikaku kneeled in front of me, placing his hand on my shoulder. 

    “Can you tell me where you live? I need to inform your parents of this. They may not like having their daughter at a boys house but don’t worry about that.”

    I nodded before taking a deep breath. 

     “I live with Naruto. I’m sure you know where that is. He’s not going to like me being gone, he’ll probably question you. Just tell him that it’s code purple.”

     I wiped my eyes and looked up to see them both surprised, then Shikaku nodded and stood up. 

     “For the record. I only know where he lives because I work for Lord Third.”

     Then he was gone. 

      Shikamaru sat down next to me.

      We sat in awkward silence before he broke it with, “I didn’t know you were that close with Naruto. I just thought you were his friend that he was kind of obsessed with.”

     He shrugged then fell back on the bed. I almost laughed as I thought about it. To everyone else it did almost seem like he was obsessed. 

    “He’s just affection starved, which I’m sure you noticed. He clings to me because he doesn’t have anyone else to help evenly distribute his affections.”