Here To Stay

Coward

      The day of the final exam finally rolled around and I was stuck as a nervous wreck.

     It was about midday, fluffy white clouds floated by like sloths, wisps of sunlight rained down and the blue so bright and endless.

   I felt small staring up at it. I felt like I was in a fishbowl. 
  
     “Where the hell are those two?” Shikamaru yawned.

      The cheering from the crowd came crashing upon me. Their yells had fallen into background noise, but like removing cotton from my ears Shikamaru’s comment dragged me back to reality.

     I watched the stands and cringed. This many people watching me made me want to puke.

     All of the competitors and an instructor stood in a line, waiting in the middle of the arena, for the last two contestants.

    Naruto and Sasuke weren’t here, and that meant that Kakashi wasn’t either.

    The knowledge brought me both relief and despair. I wanted to see him, wanted him to cheer me on. But I also felt the weight of his approval. The thought of disappointing him made my gut twist. 

    I have no idea where Naruto is. He said he would meet me here but the exam was about to start.

    Naruto had come home scared shitless. He was winded up tight and it took a while to ease the tension and untangle the thread that bunched up as he started crying.

    He kept repeating, “I could have been like him” over and over.

     Eventually he told me about Gaara’s visit. Apparently he had gone to visit Lee in the hospital, Shikamaru and Naruto found him.

     I glanced at Shikamaru. Looking back to the sky I fought the urge to stare at Gaara. 

    Naruto also told me about Gaara’s status as a jinchuriki. Jiraiya had explained that Naruto was a jinchuriki of the Nine Tails.

    There was still something I didn’t understand, Naruto apparently knew very little as well. But Jiraiya would get this sad look and dodge the questions.

   Apparently Gaara had a demon inside him, but that was the most Naruto got before he was attacked. Naruto was heartbroken to know that he could have been like him. 

     Unable to stop myself I looked to Gaara, he noticed and stared me dead in the eye.

   Mercilus seafoam eyes.

   There was no hint of emotion, no life. Just death held behind a lens of green, just tools to see held within sunken sockets, just a cold void decorating a meatbag of flesh and bone.

    He was nothing but death.

    His dead eye stare gave me the chills. I have no idea what made him like this, but whatever it was, whatever was capable of shredding a person’s soul, was not something I wanted to encounter. 

     A loud bang filled the arena and I looked to the source. Naruto laid across his stomach, sliding across the dirt ground till he came to a stop.

    I felt more than heard Shikamaru’s face-palm. 

    “He sure knows how to make an entrance.”

     I giggled and went to help Naruto up. Shikamaru followed behind me. 

    “It was the bulls, they're coming! Hundreds, thousands!” Naruto babbled. 

    “Did you hit your head? There aren’t any bulls.”

    Naruto looked around, he scratched his head and smiled awkwardly. His brow creasing with confusion. As his eyes roamed his smile dropped.