Taped-Up Heart

XXXVIII. Favorite

Chapter Thirty Eight

Favorite

Days flew by so fast, I didn't even notice it was already my last year in college. Totoo ngang ang bilis ng oras kapag masaya ka. Minsan, hinihiling ko na bumagal ang takbo ng oras... lalo na kapag masaya ako. All I want is to cherish every moment.

I smiled before kissing him on the cheek. "Goodluck on your last first day," I said. Inihatid niya ako dito sa room ko katulad ng palagi. Ngumiti lang siya bago nagpaalam. Masaya akong umupo sa tabi ni Yannie. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi matuwa dahil four months na kami ni Achaia bukas.

Marami kasing nagsasabi na hindi naman daw kami tatagal. Hindi naman daw seryoso sa akin si Achaia. Four months, matagal na para sa akin 'yon, dahil sa loob ng apat buwan na 'yon never ko naman naramdaman na hindi niya ako mahal.

Araw-araw ipinaparamdam niya lang sa akin na special ako at ang importante ko talagang tao.

"Ganyan ba ang buhay may boyfriend? Palaging masaya at blooming?" Yannie teased.

I shrugged. "Yes, I guess. It's true that being happy makes people more beautiful."

She just smiled at me. As usual, hindi pumasok ang mga professors dahil first day pa lang naman kaya niyaya ko na lang si Yannie na magpunta kami sa cafeteria.

Naglalakad kami ngayon papunta doon nang matigil ako sa taong nakasalubong namin.

"D-Duane," I mindlessly muttered. He was with that girl again—iyong babaeng madalas niya na kasama noon pa man. Simula nang masira ang friendship naming dalawa.

He looked at me briefly but said nothing.

Naramdaman ko ang hawak ni Yannie sa braso ko. I looked at him. He changed a bit, but he still looked good. Gwapo pa rin siya. Sinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong ni minsan hindi ko siya namiss at iyong pinagsamahan namin.

For years, he had been the only guy in my life. I miss him, but it's okay. I'd accepted that we could never go back to how we were. We can't be friends anymore. He wanted something that I couldn't give him. He wanted more than friendship, and that changed everything.

Ilang buwan pa lang ang nakakalipas pero pakiramdam ko ibang tao na siya at hindi ko na siya kilala.

"I heard about you and Tiu," he said finally. Nagulat ako dahil matapos ang ilang buwan 'yan ang una niyang sinabi sa akin. "Congrats," sabi niya sa isang seryoso lang na tono.

Hindi ako nakasagot. Tiningnan niya ako. Tiningnan ko rin siya pabalik. "I still don't want to see you."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. His words hit me hard.

He looked at his friend. "Let's go," he said before walking past me.

I stayed rooted to the spot. I couldn't move. It's been months... hindi niya pa rin ba ako kayang patawarin? Ganoon ba kalaki ang kasalanan ko sa kanya at hanggang ngayon ganito niya ako itrato? Ayaw niya pa rin akong makita at kinamumuhian niya pa rin ako?

Hindi ko na namalayang naiyak na ako. Kaagad akong nagpunta sa restroom kasunod si Yannie. I wiped my tears away and splashed water on my face. Pagtingin ko sa salamin, nakita ko ang mga titig sa akin ni Yannie.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you like him?"

Nagulat ako sa tanong niya. "I have a boyfriend."

"You didn't answer my question," she pressed.

"No. I don't like him," I said firmly. It was one of the few things I was certain of. "Yannie, I'm just hurt. Nasasaktan lang ako kasi ang tagal ng pinagsamahan at pagkakaibigan namin. To the point na sobrang solid namin. He was my bestfriend, pero ano? Nagawa niya akong iwan dahil lang hindi ko siya magustuhan."

"Hindi ko lang matanggap na dahil lang doon nawala ang friendship namin. For years, siya lang ang tanging lalaki sa buhay ko bukod kay Papa. I was used to being with him and around me, then what? Poof! He was like my family. Then suddenly, I was nothing to him. It's like I never meant anything, like we never shared something special."

Yannie stayed silent, listening to me vent. That's one thing I love about her—palagi niya lang ako pinapakinggan. Listening is her forté.

"I don't like him romanticall," I continued. "Losing him is like losing you, Yannie. Kung ikaw ang mawala sa buhay ko, ganito rin ang mararamdaman ko. Masasaktan ako kasi ayaw mo na sa akin. Kaibigan kita... marami tayong alaala tapos ano? Mawawala na lang dahil lang sa isang mababaw na dahilan?"

"I guess... I'm just hurt, ilang buwan na ang nakakalipas pero hindi niya pa rin ako napapatawad. Natanggap ko nang hindi kami pwedeng maging magkaibigan, pero hanggang ngayon ba talaga ganoon pa rin kalaki ang galit niya sa akin?" I asked as I wiped another tear that fell.

You know what hurts the most?

Losing your bestfriend.

It felt like I also lost a part of me that day.

But I'm lucky because Achaia was there. He made me complete again. He pieced me back together, carefully taping the broken fragments of my heart. I love Achaia, and I'm willing to love him forever, even with my taped-up heart. He didn't just help me heal—he made me whole again. He made me okay.

"Oh, Asia..." she said as she enveloped me in a hug. "Moving on and healing is a process. Try to understand Duane. We don't know how hard it was for him. I'm sure someday you'll be friends again, but maybe not yet today," she offered me a comforting smile, and it was enough to make me feel better.

"Are you okay?" Achaia asked.

Nandito kami ngayon sa salas ng unit ko. Nagsosolve ako ng mga worksheet habang siya as usual ay chill lang at nanonood ng TV. Para ngang wala talaga siyang ginagawa sa buhay niya. Pangarap ko ngang makita siyang stressed, kahit isang beses lang. Iyong tipong gulo na ang buhok niya tapos may eyebags pa siya gawa ng school works.

"Huh? Oo naman, bakit hindi?" I asked.

"Nothing. You just look stressed."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "So? Hindi na ba ako maganda? Losyang na ba? 'Yun ba ang gusto mong sabihin at iparating?" I asked him.

Pero ang kumag, tinawanan lang ako!

"Ang sama mo," sabi ko bago ko siya binato ng papel.

Umusod siya sa couch. Nasa sahig kasi ako kaya ikinulong niya ako sa pagitan ng mga binti niya. Yumuko siya ng bahagya para yakapin ako at isiksik ang mukha niya sa leeg ko.

Who wouldn't want something like this with him everyday?

Ito ang gusto ko. Ito ang pipiliin ko sa araw-araw, ang makasama siya ng ganito. Masaya lang at walang problema.

Yes, we fight sometimes. Pero dahil lang 'yon sa mga maliliit na bagay. Minsan nga ang petty, pero kaagad niya rin ginagawaan ng paraan para magkabati kami.

Wala rin naman akong magawa kung hindi ang patawarin siya. I'm certified marupok for Achaia Tiu only. Sa kanya lang ako marupok.

"Even if you're stressed, you're still the most beautiful girl to me," he said.

"Sinasabi mo lang 'yan kasi girlfriend mo ako," I said.

He laughed again and kissed my check.

"Kyeopta," he said.

Napangiti ako at bahagyang kinilig sa sinabi niya. Tingnan mo 'to! Nagko-korean bigla! Pilit ko kasi siyang pinapanood ng K-drama pero ayaw niya. Sinabi niya pang pangit daw ang K-drama pero wala siyang magawa kung hindi umupo na lang sa tabi ko everytime I'm watching them. Wala naman akong pake kung hindi siya manood, basta lang nasa tabi ko siya.

Pero tingnan mo siya ngayon! Nanonood din naman pala siya, nakakainis talaga 'to!

Tiningala ko siya. "Saranghae," I said, planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

Mas napangiti siya. Tumayo na ako at umupo sa lap niya. I snaked my arms around his neck. I stared at his pretty face, gently brushing his hair away before kissing his forehead. "I may watch and fangirl over a million Korean boys," I said, smiling, "but always remember—you're my favorite singkit."