Taped-Up Heart

L. Little Bump

Chapter Fifty

Little Bump

Four years ago.

I opened the door and saw him. Again.

"Hi," he said.

I just stared at him before heading to the sofa again. Pumasok lang siya at nilagay ang mga dala niyang pagkain sa table.

"I already told you, wala kang mapapala sa akin..." I told Daffin before changing the channel.

I don't know why he's still pursuing me when I already made it clear that I didn't want him in my life. I didn't want anyone in my life. It's been two months since that day happened - and yet, hindi pa rin ako nakaka-move on. I'm still stuck here, left wondering why he fooled and hurt me when all I ever did was love him.

"So what?" he asked. I remained looking at the television. "I just want to check on you and know that you're still breathing."

"I'm not dumb. I won't take my own life just because of love," I answered him back. "Besides, wala ka bang ibang magawa sa buhay mo? Just leave me alone."

For the first few weeks na binubulabog niya buhay ko, sinasarahan ko lang siya ng pinto, but I got tired of slamming the door in front of his face. I also realized that yes I'm hurt, but that doesn't give me the right to be rude to other people... kaya pinapapasok ko na lang siya. And that's it, he just sits there, waiting for me to let my guard down - which is never gonna happen again, by the way.

The moment I let my guard was also the moment that someone shattered my heart into pieces.

"It's called time management."

Umiling na lang ako at hindi ulit siya pinansin. After an hour, he's still here. Nanonood lang din siya katulad ko at paminsan-minsan nararamdaman kong tinitingnan niya ako. Nang saktong tiningnan ko siya, nag-ring din bigla ang phone niya.

"I'm outside," he answered the person on the phone. "Yeah, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Okay."

Tiningnan niya lang ako pagkababa niya ng phone niya.

"Go, hinahanap ka na ng girlfriend mo," I said.

"Jealous?" he asked. My face remained impassive, he frowned. "I'll be back again."

He stood up as he smiled at me. "Don't miss me too much, alright?" he said before waving me goodbye and leaving.

And once again, the room feels cold and empty.

I feel lonely again.

* * *

Today was a Saturday. I have no classes, kaya panahon nanaman para mag-hibernate ako sa condo ko at mawala muna sa mundo kahit sandali.

I was about to take a nap when someone knocked on my door. Ugh, I guess it's Daffin again. Labag sa loob ay tumayo ako at binuksan ang pinto.

"Seriously, Daff-" I stopped when I saw that it wasn't Daffin.

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit biglang naiiyak ako ngayon na nandito siya sa harapan ko.

He looked different compared to the last time I saw him. He looked more mature, he looked like a different person, but I know that he's still my person. That person.

"W-why are you here?" I asked as my tears started falling one by one.

"I'm sorry, ngayon lang ulit..."

Umiling lang ako at umiyak. Ibinaba niya ang mga dala niyang supot bago niya ako niyakap nang mahigpit.

"I was a fool. Hindi dapat ako naniwala na mahal niya ako. Hindi dapat ako naging tanga. I already knew that he was one of them, yet I still took the risk..." I sobbed in his chest.