Taped-Up Heart

L. Little Bump

Chapter Fifty

Little Bump

Four years ago...

I opened the door and saw him. Again.

"Hi," he said.

I just stared at him before heading back to the sofa. He came inside and placed the food he brought on the table.

"I already told you, wala kang mapapala sa akin..." I told Daffin before changing the channel.

I didn't know why he's still pursuing me when I had already made it clear that I didn't want him in my life. I didn't want anyone in my life.

It's been two months since that day happened and yet, hindi pa rin ako nakaka-move on. I'm still stuck here, left wondering why he fooled and hurt me when all I ever did was love him.

"So what?" he asked. I kept my eyes on the television. "I just want to check on you and make sure that you're still breathing."

"I'm not dumb. I won't take my own life just because of love," I answered. "Besides, wala ka bang ibang magawa sa buhay mo? Just leave me alone."

For the first few weeks na binubulabog niya buhay ko, sinasarahan ko lang siya ng pinto, but I got tired of slamming the door in front of his face. I also realized that yes, I was hurt, but that didn't give me the right to be rude to other people. Kaya pinapapasok ko na lang siya. And that's it—he just sits there, waiting for me to let my guard down, which is never going to happen again, by the way.

The moment I let my guard was also the moment that someone shattered my heart into pieces.

"It's called time management," he said.

Umiling na lang ako at hindi ulit siya pinansin. After an hour, he was still there. Nanonood lang din siya katulad ko at paminsan-minsan nararamdaman kong tinitingnan niya ako. Nang saktong tiningnan ko siya ay nag-ring din bigla ang phone niya.

"I'm outside," he said to the person on the phone. "Yeah, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Okay."

Tiningnan niya lang ako pagkababa niya ng phone niya.

"Go. Hinahanap ka na ng girlfriend mo," I said.

"Jealous?" he asked. My face remained impassive, he frowned. "I'll be back again."

He stood up and smiled at me. "Don't miss me too much, alright?" he teased before waving goodbye and leaving.

And once again, the room felt cold and empty.

I felt lonely again.

* * *

Today was a Saturday. I had no classes, kaya panahon nanaman para maghibernate ako sa condo ko at mawala muna sa mundo kahit sandali.

I was about to take a nap when someone knocked on the door. Ugh, I guess it's Daffin again. Labag sa loob ay tumayo ako at binuksan ang pinto.

"Seriously, Daff—" I stopped when I saw it wasn't Daffin.

I bit my lower lip, trying to stop myself from crying. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit biglang naiiyak ako ngayon na nandito siya sa harapan ko.

He looked different compared to the last time I saw him—more mature, like a completely different person. But I knew that he was still my person. That person.

"W-why are you here?" I asked as tears started falling one by one.

"I'm sorry, ngayon lang ulit..."

Umiling lang ako at umiyak. Ibinaba niya ang mga dala niyang supot bago niya ako niyakap nang mahigpit.