The Accused (A Series #1)

Chapter Twenty-Six

After the encounter with her mother, she knew there was more to expect. There was more to face that was why she tried to get a grip of herself. She was hurt, yes. But, she knew she should also be prepared despite the fear that she thought, would never leave her side sooner.

So that was what she did. After days of sitting the pain down, she compelled herself to expect for the worst. Yan na ang naisip niya na pinakamagandang panangga sa lahat ng kinahaharap niya. If she would think and expect for the worst, hindi na siya magugulat pa sa sakit na dadalhin nito. She could brace herself for the afflictive wound that it might leave her.

But expecting for the worst was asking a part of her. It was asking her yo believe that what was happening was her reality now and that there was no way of escaping it all. Expecting for the worst was like gradually scarring herself open kahit wala pa man. It’s damaging but she had to do it, kahit di nalang para sa sarili but for her baby.

Her baby. She was her source of energy, her lifeline. She never forgot about her baby na sa nagdaang araw, she referred as “she”. She would like to think that way, na babae ang anak niya. She could not help thinking if kanino ito mas magmamana, sa itsura at sa pag-uugali.

Honestly, there’s a part of herself that wanted her baby to inherit everything from her dad. She would look like the gem that she could not have, but she think of it being selfish. Nevertheless, whatever her child would look like, she would still love her or him with all her heart. Palalakihin niya ito ng puno ng pagmamahal. She vowed to raise her well, pambawi man lang sa mga malalaking kasalanan niya dito.

Time to time, she would hold her tummy. Napapansin niya na ang maliit na umbok dito pag nahahawakan niya. Ever since she got here, hindi pa siya nachecheck. Ang sabi naman ng isang pulis ay papatignan ang kalagayan niya, one of these days.

Sana ay walang komplikasyon dito. Natatakot siya lalo pa’t after nilang mag usap ng mommy niya ay nanghina siya ng sobra. She would not even want to eat and take care of herself. Buti nalang at napaalalahan niya ang sarili bago pa man siya bumigay.

Lately din ay medyo nakakausap na niya ang mga kasamahan sa selda. Hindi madalas dahil takot pa din siya sa mga ito pero pinagpapasalamat niya ito dahil minsan, ang mga ito ang nagpapaalala sa kanya na mag ingat sa mga bagay bagay lalo pa at buntis siya.

They just went from eating their lunch at nagpapahinga na ang karamihan nang tinawag siya ng isang pulis. Hindi na ito yung sumundo sa kanya nung huli. Pagtawag pa lang sa kanya ay nanigas na siya sa kinauupuan. Like the last time, parang ayaw na gusto niyang lumabas.

For the nth time, fear welcomed her. Pero di na siya magpapatibag dito. Buo na ang loob niya na harapin at talunin lahat ng mga pasakit na nag aabang sa kanya.

She knew that she might falter at the middle of the fight, pero ano pa ba ang ikakagulat niya? She believed she had the worst of the aching. Ilang taon din ba siyang nagpanggap na okay lang ang lahat, that even an ounce of affection she had been trying to hoard wasn’t bestowed upon her. She grew up with that love along with the pain that it came with. She could live with what was waiting for her… or so she thought.

The moment she met his eyes, she felt all the walls she assembled crumbling. She could not help to ask if what was left to do? Ano pa ba ang kailangan niyang gawin para di maging mahina sa harap ng taong ‘to? Sa totoo lang, pagod na siya.

They sat on the farthest corner of the room. Gaya ng ina niya, wala sa itsura nito ang nababagay sa lugar kung nasaan sila. Kagaya ng mommy niya, wala din itong pinapakita na emosyon sa mukha, but she knew better. Kung may karapatan mang magalit sa lahat ng nangyari, it would be him and the one that he dearly adored. At tatanggapin niya yun. Pagbabayaran niya.