One Summer in Bicol ✔

Kabanata 24

Go Home

Convenient.

Walang taong gustong maipit sa mahirap na sitwasyon. Kung may paraan para mas maging madali ang lahat, we will do it. We will cross the bridge when we get there. Who doesn't want to run away from everything that's bringing her pain? Wala.

"Where are her parents?"

It wasn't just about the noice in our house. Kaya kong magbingi-bingihan pero hindi ang magbulag-bulagan.

"The-they are in Manila."

The pain of seeing my mom cry after being beaten up, the anger in Chris' eyes, and the sorrow in my dad's eyes had gotten me into the deepest trench. Added by this disease and broken relationship with my dad, here I am, running towards death.

"We need to call them. Her situation has gotten worse. Kailangan na nyang ma-test," I heard a deep voice talking.

Nilalamig ako habang pinagpapawisan. I can feel the pain consuming me. Funny that I run away from my family para makatakas sa sakit but in the end, ito ako, nasasaktan pa rin.

I opened my eyes and saw a hand shaking dahil sa takot. Jacob is standing beside the bed where I am lying. He is busy talking to the doctor kaya hindi nya napansin ang pagmulat ng mata ko. His nose and eyes are red. His bedroom eyes looks more sad because of the tears flowing. His thin lips formed a curve downward losing its natural pink color. It must be shocking for him.

I held his hand na puno ng kalyo dahilan para lingunin nya ako. Hindi na nya pinakinggan pa ang sinasabi ng doctor. He is down on his knee holding my hands. His eyes speeks so much of agony, worry, pain and... afraid of something.

"How are you feeling, A? Are you hungry? May masakit pa ba sayo? Tell me, baby, anong dapat kong gawin? I'm sorry! I didn't know--"

Hindi na nya matapos ang sasabihin nang magsimula nang mag-unahan ang mga luha nya sa pagbagsak. He was always been this strong, friendly and intimidating guy but now, Jacob is down on his knees, trembling and crying while holding my hands.

"I'll be fine. Let's go home now."

Agad syang nag-angat ng tingin. "Go home? Avery you are sick! Hindi ko alam na may sakit ka! Hindi mo sinabi! You were excessively sweating and trembling! You have lymphs and bruises! You need to--"

"Sabi ko umuwi ba tayo!" sigaw ko. Nakita kong lumabas ang Doctor ara iwan kami.

Pareho kaming taas-baba ang dibdib at mabilis ang hininga. Ang marahangang paghinga lamang ang naririnig sa loob ng kwarto. Puno ng galit ang kaninang nanghihina nyang titig. Galit dahil sa pagtatago ko ng totoong kalagayn ko. Galit para sa kagustuhan kong umuwi at galit para sa sarili dahil sa hindi malamang dahilan.

"They need to run some tests bago ang chemothe--"

"No," mariin kong pigil.

"You need to--"

"Jacob, I said no! Please! Huwag kang makulit!" I lost my temper.

Mariin syang napapikit at saka nagpakawala ng ilang ulit ng mura. Tumayo sya at iniuntog ang sarili sa pader, patuloy na minumura ang sarili.

I know this will happen. I should've prepared myself for this and I was so selfish not to think about his feelings. Tinago ko sa kanya ang lahat, pinilit ko syang ilayo ako, at ngayon ito kami... parehong nahihirapan.

That night when I asked him who Bianca is, ang sabi nya ay kababata nya. Pinsan ni Neil, kapatid ni Bea, iyong babaeng pinagseselosan ko pero sabi nila hindi dapat. He assure me na hindi nya girlfriend iyon, taliwas sa sinasabi ni Mang Nato. I trusted him. But part of me is in doubt, part of me says I know less more than what I should know.