Thank you so much for reading this. I'll edit this next month to give justice hehe. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts! :)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Next Summer
"Did you love her?"
"I always do."
"Pero bakit mo sya sinaktan?"
Hindi sya sumagot. Silence enveloped us as the night wind hugs us. I looked at our shadow on the ground. We are seated on a bench where there is street light behind us.
I broke the silence. "What is love if it is breaking you?"
"I'm sorry," he said, almost a whisper.
He invited me for a talk. Ayoko sana dahil hanggang ngayon masakit pa but when he said that this will be a farewell... I don't know what to feel.
"I was so thirsty of your love that it pushes me to come with him. Naging uhaw ako sa pagmamahal at atensyon mo na nagawa kong hanapin 'yun sa ibang tao. Ang hina ko," my voice cracked. Humapdi ang lalamunan ko. "Ang hina hina ako."
Gusto ko syang sisihin pero alam kong mali din ako.
Tuluyan nang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Nakita ko kung paano bumagsak ang balikat nya kasabay ng pagbagsak ng ulo sya. Sa kabila ng dilim, nakita ko kung paano nya punasan ang mga mata nya. Dinig ko mula sa katahimikan ang hikbi nya.
Beside me is my father, crying for his losts. Masakit ba? Masakit bang buhay pa ang mga mahal mo pero nawala na sila sa'yo?
What is love if it is destructing?
"Mapapatawad nyo pa ba ako?"
Kitang kita ko sa emosyon nya ang pagkasira, ang pagsisisi at pagsusumamo... subalit huli na, wala na... wala na kami sa kanya.
You'll know the importance of skmething when you lost it. Lagi't laging sa huli ang pagsisisi.
"Forgiveness may be easy to give but healing takes time," I said. Marahan kong pinunasan ang luhang tahimik na tumutulo sa pisngi ko.
Parang tinutusok ng punyal ang dibdib ko. Masakit. Masakit na kahit anong galit ko sa kanya, ito ako, nasasaktan syang makitang miserable.
I wonder if he let my mom go because she wishes to, or because he felt guilty of hurting her. Whatever reason it is, it's too late now.
As much as I want my family to be whole, mas kakayanin ko siguro ang ganito kaysa ang araw-araw naming nasasaktan ang isa't isa.
If it is becoming unhealthy, then we must give up.
"Uuwi na ako ng Bicol. Sasamahan ko muna ang Lolo Oscar mo. Will you be okay without me?"
"I never felt I have you, to be honest," I said bluntly. "Will you be okay without us?"
"I won't, A. I'll leave not because I'm better off without you. I'll leave because I want to be better and become deserving of you, Chris, and your mom." His voice cracked. Tears started to fell from his eyes.
Do you know how painful it is to see your father cry na kahit anong galit mo sa kanya, you can't help but pity him dahil at the end of the day, papa mo pa rin sya.
It is killing me that my first love is my dad and he is all my first heartbreak...
If love failed for the first time, and fail again for the second time, how would I move on?
"The one we should focus on is the one that makes us human."
The crowd laughed at the speaker's remarks. Funny but true. He is talking about giving a service for the people that is sustainable. Come to think of it, what makes us human?
BINABASA MO ANG
One Summer in Bicol ✔
Romance(EDITING) Avery Anne Barrameda is a Manila girl who has symptoms of a disease that may end her life if not treated. Afraid to know her real condition, she refused to undergo some tests. And to run from this tragic story of her, hoping to live normal...
