Pagkatapos nung nangyari that day. I ignored him. Totoo na to. Inignore ko siya. I seen zoned yung mga message niya. Everytime na nasa exact same place kami, I do what I need to do and leave as fast as I can. I did this for a month, and then.
He just stopped caring.
Akala ko, he would put more effort than sa mga gimagawa niya.
Akala ko lang pala.
Akala ko, he would change dahil sa nangyayari.
Akala ko lang pala.
Akala ko, may gusto siya sakin.
Akala ko lang pala.
Akala ko..... That kiss.. I thought it meant something.
Maybe I just over thought that.
The first few weeks, of ignoring him. I was fine nakakatawa pako. But of course it got worse. I can't feel.. I don't feel, like myself anymore. Maraming times na gustong gusto ko na talaga siyang pansinin. Pero flashbacks of what I saw that day, makes me hesitate, and then sa dulo.. I'll change my mind.
Lahat sila, nanotice nila yung pagbabago ko. I changed A LOT, after one month. Every week. Pag nakikita kong may kasama siya, I try to not cry. Pero syempre. Ikaw ba naman, makitang masaya na siya sa iba, knowing that he doesn't care anymore. It hurts.
So much....
I became depressed, I tend to overthink, every night... Nahihirapan si Mama dahil sa anxiety attacks ko.. She started to notice. "Nak.. I need to transfer sa... Manila.. For 6 months.. Dito ka lang? Or sama ka?" tanong sakin ni Mama. "Sama nalang ako ma.." umiiyak nako nang sabihin ko to, "Ang hirap nang araw araw nakikita ko siya. Please.."
Niyakap ako ni Mama habang pinatatahan ako, "Tahan na nak.." sabi niya, "Babalik tayo dito okay? You have 6 months para gumaling. So that, pagnagkita ulit kayo. You can smile."
The next day I said goodbye to the teachers, to the school, to my friends promising na babalik ako. I decided to talk to Joseph. Finally. After a month or so..
" Joseph.. " lumingon siya sakin, I was about to cry that time, he looked at me. With such cold eyes, like I don't matter anymore. "Anong gusto mo?" sagot niya sakin, "Can we talk? Please?" sabi ko and avoided eye contact, "After all this time.. Na I tried to reach you.. Ngayon-"
"Seph! Just! Just please..." he stood up, inaantay niya na maglakad ako. Naglakad ako patungo dun sa place na, pinakita niya sakin. "Bat tayo nandito?" tanong ni Seph, "I'm sorry I ignored you.." sabi ko, "Huh.. Sorry? Sorry? Yun lang? Seryoso ka ba? Alam mo-"
"Just listen muna!" tumahimik siya, waiting for me to say kung ano mang sasabihin ko, "Look, I'm sorry I ignored you. Nasaktan lang ako kasi I saw you, at the mall. Nasaktan lang ako na.. May kasama kang iba. Look Seph, I like you. Okay? And for me to see that. Nasaktan lang ako. So natakot akong masaktan ulit" tears were flowing down, "I'm sorry.. Okay? I.. I really wanted to talk to you. Pero yung images. Yung memory. It's all in my head. I'm.."
"Bat di-"
"Shh! Seph... Aalis nako.. I'll be back. I promise." tumingin ako sakanya, "So yun na yun? You confessed to me! Tapos iiwan moko? Kakaiba ka.. Inignore moko for a month, then finally you talked to me, Saying sorry and then aalis ka?" sabi niya, "Seph-"
"No! Just go.. Ayoko na okay? Tama na. You're free to go. Di mo kailangan magpaalam. Kasi wala namang tayo."
That was the last time, that I saw him. The following day kasi.. Umalis na kami. I tried my best para gumaling. I did treatments went to therapy. I showed good results naman. Pero it still hurts. But not as much.
Right now I'm in the car. Going home, and scared na makita ko siyang may kasama nang iba. "Nak, malapit na tayo. Ayusin mo na yung stuff." sabi ni mama while looking straight ahead.
After arriving, I didn't expect it.
"Hey... You're back.."
"Seph..."
--To be Continued--
YOU ARE READING
The One That Got Away //YanSeph//
Fanfiction--Wattpad Version --Original story by: Yan Seph Writers (Facebook) Written by me and reposted here (2nd ongoing story)
