Wildling

Chapter 25

~~~Jaxson's POV~~~

My stomach was twisted in knots and my heart was so far up in my throat it was difficult to swallow. I had never felt like this. The uncertainty was weighing down my soul. I just want Ember to accept me and we can start our life and start her healing process. I feel like breaking down, this feeling is twisting me inside out.

She's going to reject me, isn't she? Ares began whimpering in the back of my mind at this thought. Ashton had come back hours ago and she was still gone. The sun would be setting soon. She wouldn't run, would she? No, no this is her home and Accalia is still here. She just needs time.

Sean and Ash looked lost. They had never seen me like this either. Their eyes followed me as I continued to pace the cabin floor. I desperately wanted to go after her, but I knew I should give her space. Ash had said she took things surprisingly well, but she needs to process it all. He wouldn't tell me anything he saw. He wanted to respect her privacy and said she would tell me when she was ready.

But would she? Will she ever be ready? I remember the look on Ashton's face when he saw her memories. I never want to see it again. He was so scared and shocked. Saddened and disturbed. Whatever she had gone through was so disturbing it unsettled him to the point that he didn't even want to eat when he returned from talking with her. He kept staring off with a haunted look in his eyes. I'm honestly nervous to witness it but I know that marking is really where Ember's main hang up is, so I know I need to be sensitive. She doesn't want to cause me pain. She's too selfless for her own good. She would give up her happiness just so I didn't go through pain. That right there just proves how much of a good person she is.

I continued pacing. I couldn't just sit and do nothing. I'm surprised I haven't bore a hole in the floor by now.

"Ugh!" I punched the door in aggravation and unease.

"Just go find her man. She's had a few hours alone. You guys need to get this over with so you can begin your life. You can't just be waiting around for what ifs." Ashton nodded his head, agreeing with Sean.

"She's got a good head on her shoulders Jax. Just talk and I'm sure you will figure it all out. She can't make the decision without talking to you first." With those words, I yanked the cabin door open, lunged out into the yard and shifted.

Ares was so eager to get to his mate he took over, pushing me into the back of our mind as he galloped up the mountain towards the clearing. He was anxious. Our claws gripped the earth of the mountainside, rocks dug into our paws, but we didn't care. We needed to get to her.

I took control and shifted as soon as I saw her in the clearing. Panting for breath and sweaty from the run I stared at her, not quite daring to move. She looked at me with wide eyes, her cheeks had a beautiful red tinge to them, and she averted her eyes from me. I didn't quite understand why she seemed embarrassed. That was, until I noticed that in our haste we shifted in our clothes, ripping them to shreds. I felt myself heat up once I realized I was wearing only my birthday suit in front of my mate who had never seen me bare.

"S-sorry. I guess I was more worried about seeing you than I was about keeping my clothes intact." I ducked my head slightly in embarrassment. Ember nodded, glancing at me. Her cheeks heating up further as her eyes briefly dropped below my waist. I smirked internally. At least I have some effect on her.

I walked towards her in timid strokes, not knowing how this would go. She made an effort to look me in the eyes, never wavering.

"Em. Please say you're not rejecting me." My sentence came out in a whimper as I choked back a sob threatening to escape. Just saying the words out loud is enough to make me break. Fuck I've never been this emotional before. I can't lose her, I just can't.