Wildling

Chapter 33

~~~Ember's POV~~~

The room was so silent my human ears could practically hear the heartbeats of the wolves in the room. Everyone but Ashton had shocked looks. Their eyes wide at my revelation.

"Your cousin?" Inez breathed still overcome with the shock of my story. No doubt horrified her son has such a disgustingly retched person for a mate.

"What the hell are we doing just sitting here?! We know the pack let's just go obliterate them!" Jaxson's canines glinted dangerously as he snarled. I quickly turned and glared at him, placing my hand on his chest as if it could hold him back from running out of the room to war.

"So, you would just run off straight to war? Bring your whole pack; your friends, their mates, your family, you would bring them all into a battle that they have no purpose in being in? You have no idea who you are dealing with. What do you think made me the way I am? Hmm?" I grabbed Jaxson's face in my hands, desperate to catch his eyes. He was agitated, wanting to run to Shadow Pack right now and deal pain. "Look at me. Jax please." I pleaded; my voice desperate. Finally, his eyes flickered down to mine, a black abyss staring back at me. Ares was in control.

'They hurt you. They killed my other half!' Ares roared, his body trembling in restrained rage. His fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly. His gaze refused to focus on me. I glanced around at the others. The room was thick and musty with fear. Ares must not take control often. They seem to have no clue what to do.

"I know." My voice breaking as I spoke. "Ares, I know what they did. I lived it. I felt her die and leave me. How do you think I feel?" Ares finally looked at me, his eyes lightening just a hint. "You know, when I met you, I was so happy, if only for a minute. I had a soulmate. Something I never thought possible once she died. But then realization dawned on me. My wolf is gone." Tears were now slipping down my face. The others in the room faded as I focused solely on Ares and him, me.

"What kind of mate would I be for you? I'm damaged. Broken. I'm as far away from a typical girl you could get." I looked away, unable to look him in the face. "I have monsters in my past. Ones that constantly haunt and taunt me, telling me I don't deserve anything good in my life."

"You. You are the good in my life, dangling in front of me. Like the most prized object that is to beneath me to have. And I'm selfish enough to want to take it." Ares growled lightly grasping my face and swinging it to look at him. The despair in my eyes evident as his darkened again.

"How do you think I feel to know that I don't deserve you. I don't deserve a life in a pack again. I don't deserve to have friends and family in my life. I made my bed and was fully prepared to lay in it. But meeting you, gave me a reason to believe that something better could happen. But all it has done is wreak havoc. You're all in danger because of me!"

'And I would know that how? You refuse to tell me.' I looked away again trying to compose my thoughts. The only way he would ever know is by marking me. I could tell him verbally, but you still can't grasp the amount of pain and devastation I was in with mere words.

"So that's what you want? To mark me right here and now? To not wait until we both are ready. Fine. Do it then." Ares gaze burned into mine, his canines already beginning to lengthen. "But just know. You do this now; I will resent you for it. Because you are doing it out of anger and the anguish of not having the knowledge of what happened. You wouldn't be doing it out of love, out of wanting that other person to be by your side passing through life. And honestly, you would resent yourself." I exhaled sharply. If he wanted it like this so be it.

The moment my words left my lips, brilliant, emerald eyes gazed back at me, glistening with tears. Neither of us made a move. Still oblivious to the others in the room as we stared at each other. My chest was heaving as if I had just run a marathon. Finally, Jaxson broke the silence. His cheeks tinted red at what Ares had just done.