Roman Angst One-shots

Roman wants to die

Partially based on a TikTok by sandra_g_14

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The light sides and Thomas were all talking, not really about a specific issue, more like they just wanted to hang out. Well, Patton wanted to hang out and he got the other sides to join. Roman hadn't been talking that much, but, of course, no one noticed.

Janus and Remus both rose, Virgil seemed annoyed but not as much as usual, Patton must have talked to him. Remus immediately started to make fun of Roman and hit on the other sides, while throwing out random gross and weird facts. Janus just kinda watched the others, specifically Roman.

Janus could tell something was wrong with Roman, he knew when the sides and Thomas lied after all. "Are you alright, Roman?" he asked.

   "I'm feeling randy, dandy, and quite Grandy!" Roman lied.

No one had noticed the interaction yet so Janus decided to force Roman to tell the truth, "Have you tried crossing over yet?" that line caught everyone's attention.

   "Wha- I wanna die-" Roman's eyes widened as the words began to fall from his mouth, he tried to cover his mouth but Janus prevented him from doing so, "-wanna die but don't really wanna die. You were there, you would care, making me aware." Roman stopped struggling, letting the words, and tears, fall,"  Every scar, all the blood, more and more they're never done, not enough, not enough..." Roman finished, hugging himself tightly while looking down in shame.

   "Roman...?" Thomas asked cautiously.

Everyone was crying, even Logan. No one seemed to know what to do for a moment. Roman began to sink out but Remus grabbed his arm, making him wince in pain, and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you, brother," Remus cried, Roman fell to his knees, sobbing. The others quickly joined to hug, Thomas still just standing there, wishing he could comfort his creative side. There were a lot of  'I'm sorry' and 'we love you's but Roman couldn't bring himself to believe them.

~

The next few weeks, everyone tried their best to help Roman, Logan checked his arms to make sure he wasn't cutting, even though he had just moved to his thighs, Virgil was nicer to him, Remus tried to be there for him, Janus let the sides know whenever Roman lied about how he was feeling, which he wished he'd done a lot sooner, and Thomas listened to and wrote down every idea he came up with, even though they began to get quite dark. But no matter what the others did, Roman still felt like just ending it all. He knew he couldn't though, sides can't really die, and he couldn't just duck out since Remus, being creativity as well, and Thomas, being the host, could just break in any way. So he just went through the days, spending a lot of time in the imagination, where he would just jump from high places that would kill a person. As twisted as that sounds, it helped a lot. Until Remus caught him one day and told Patton. 

Nothing made him feel better anymore, not Disney, not singing, not even cutting. He felt like he was drowning like he couldn't take full breaths. He just lay on the floor of his room, tears streaming down his face, wishing that he could just die, the voice in his head screaming at him. He had no energy to even move. "Roman?" Virgil's voice at the door, a knocking sound, "Roman?!" the knocking sound got louder. Roman snapped his fingers, unlocking the door before Virgil could get Remus or Thomas' help. The door opened, "Roman...?" Virgil knelt in front of Roman, helping him sit up, "are you alright?" Roman moved his gaze up to lock with Virgils, letting him see how truly dull his eyes were. Virgil actually looked concerned, maybe he and the others weren't faking. Virgil pulled Roman into a hug, "I'm here for you, always. You are my best friend, I love you." Virgil said. Roman slowly hugged back.

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I guess I'll end the one-shot here.

Written: 5-20-2020
Edited: 4-6-2021
Posted: 7-1-2020
Word count: 674