Roman Angst One-shots

Consequences Part 1/3

Thank you guys so much for over 500 reads! I can't believe I've already gotten that many reads!

Also, it's a good thing I have this in my calendar cuz I forgot it was Saturday.

TW: Cutting

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Roman, Patton, and Thomas were making a video, everything was fine until the snake showed up. "We can't trust him, he's asking us to go back on things we've known for years, rights and wrongs, shoulds and shouldn't, how can we trust him?!" Roman said.

Deceit sighed and everyone looked at him, "I don't have a simple answer to that question," Deceit sighed again, looking hesitant and unsure, "But here's a start," he said beginning to remove his glove, "my name..." he removed his glove and put his hand up, "my name is Janus..." He said.

Everyone was shocked, especially when Roman started laughing, "pfft- Janus?" he laughed, glancing back at Patton to see if he too was laughing, he wasn't he looked horrified, but Roman didn't stop, "What are you, a middle school librarian? It's a stupid name."

Janus looked hurt and angry, "Oh, Roman, thank God you don't have a mustache," Janus started, and Romans smile immediately began to fall, "otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn't know who the evil twin was." Janus retorted.

Those words cut deep, Roman looked at Patton and Thomas but neither tried to stand up for him, instead, they looked away, unable to make eye contact, "...are you guys seriously going to take his side" Roman asked, his voice pained. Thomas started to say no but Roman spoke over him, "over me?" he asked, Patton started to say something but Roman ignored him and kept talking, "Thomas...I thought I was your hero..." Roman said, recalling what Thomas had said a few years back, the thing he'd remind himself of whenever the thoughts and insecurities started to become too much to bear, the same thoughts and insecurities that now threatened to engulf him.

   "Y-you are!" Thomas replied quickly, surprised Roman remembered that.

Roman glanced over at Janus, silently asking if Thomas was lying, Janus nodded, confirming that he was, and Roman broke, "wow, I can't believe this, did you forget that he's evil?!" Roman asked, directing the rest of his words at himself, as he tried to hold back the tears, "you're not, or..you're not supposed to be your supposed to be good! You can't-"

   "Roman," Patton said gently, cutting him off, "everything's gonna be ok, Kiddo. We love you."

Roman just scoffed, "Right..." he sunk out into his room, locking the door with a wave of his hand. His heartfelt like it had been ripped to shreds, he just broke down as the conversation repeated in his head, eventually just turning into a loop of "evil twin" and "not his hero." until he was nearly convinced that, if he were to look in his mirror, he'd see his brother instead of himself.

So he pushed himself to his feet and stumbled over to the full-length mirror in the corner, his gaze falling to the floor as he walked, eventually just closing his eyes altogether. Once he was in front of the mirror, he counted to three and opened his eyes, looking up at his reflection, he gasped, though it was more of a sob, and fell back when he saw his twin standing there. If he had been thinking he would have realized that he was so convinced that was what he'd see that he influenced the mirror to show him just that, it was a magic mirror owned by the embodiment of creativity after all.

Roman sobbed heavily, not even hearing when Patton knocked on his door. Roman felt a sharp pain from his arm and looked down to see that he had started to dig his fingernails into his arm, this gave him an idea, something he would never even consider in any other circumstance. He summoned a knife and made a cut it was hesitant and therefore shallow but he did it again and again, gradually the cuts became deeper and deeper, fueled by sadness, pain, and self-hatred.

By the time he heard a second knock on his door and a voice call: "open up, princey!" both of my arms were covered in deep cuts and there was a large pool of blood on the floor. His ears were ringing loudly and he felt dizzy and lightheaded, he knew that was too many cuts, too much blood, but he didn't care. He collapsed onto the floor with a soft 'thump'. He could hear the door being broken down, and someone mumbling something, then a gasp and a scream, and everything went silent.

~~~~~

I'll turn the rest of this into a second part.

Written: 6-13-2020
Edited: 4-6-2021
Word count: 755
Posted: 7-18-2020