Misunderstood

XXXIX

J A Y
C H A P T E R 39
Monday, January 14
~~~~

Today is the day, the day the judge makes her final decision. I can't lie and say that I was nervous but I tried my best to think positive about the situation, or at least that's what my therapist told me.

I recently started going to therapy because I've been having a hard time lately and Bey said it would be good although she is a little biased but, she's never steered me wrong. It was also kinda nice being back in therapy since that's what I did twice a week in prison, it was something I was familiar with.

"You ok?"

I looked back at Bey as she put her earrings in, "I'm straight."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"You know you can talk to me right."

I nodded.

She sighed, "You just seem like you're not here... mentally, and I don't want you to feel like I'm hovering but you can talk to me about anything. I'm here."

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist placing a kiss on her forehead, "I admit I got a lot of shit on my plate with this custody thing being the biggest but if there's one person in this world I know is here for me, it's you."

"I'm just worried," she mumbled into my chest.

"I know you are but I promise you I'm good and when I'm not you'll be the first person I'll tell—well after my therapist of course.

She laughed and pushed me away, "you're annoying!"

"I know but I'm gonna go talk to Shay real quick, don't take all day to get ready."

"I do not take long to get ready," she chuckled.

"I'm gonna act like you ain't just lie to me like that.

"Whatever."

I headed downstairs to the living room where Shay was waiting. The girls had already gone to school but Shay wanted to come along since the judges' decision impacted her.

"Shay, can we talk?" I asked sitting across from her.

She smiled and sat her phone in her lap, "about?"

"You're all I've ever thought about since I found out about you and I just wanted to let you know that I love you with everything in me and no matter what the judge decides I will always love you and you will always be my daughter. No matter where you are in this world I got you, forever," I confessed.

There was a moment of silence between us before she spoke, "I just wish things were different," she managed to get out on the verge of tears, "I wish she wouldn't have done what she did to you so you could've raised me. I just know I would've lived a happy life but instead, I had to live a life full of neglect, abuse, and pain."

By now Shay has tears streaming down her face and it hurt me to see her crying, that's the last thing I wanted my baby girl doing. I'd be lying if I said I know how she feels because I didn't, all I knew is that she was hurting and the only thing I can do is be here for her and comfort her. I went over to her and hugged her tightly allowing her to cry in my arm.