Always (2/3)

40: I hate to be dramatic, but I'm bleeding out here

40
Dipper

From my perspective, things weren't going as planned. I was bleeding out, couldn't reach my amulet, moreover couldn't find my amulet, and the creature that tried to kill me was now going after my sister.

All in all, a really shitty day.

And all I could do was watch helplessly as my friends tried to save my life. How was that fair? From my point of view, I was a shitty person.

It's true, my conscience agreed. You brought them all into this. It's your fault. Why did you even have to use magic in the first place? All these problems never would have happened if you never had magic. You should just lay down your life so your friends can live. So your sister can live. So the love of your life can live. And, well, I guess Gideon's your friend too.

I removed my hands from my gaping flesh wound (which isn't really smart when you're bleeding out) and placed both hands on either sides of my head.

I felt that I was underwater; a hazy weight covered the remains of my body and I watched through the deep, semi-translucent waters as my friends fought for me.

Slow motion. The creature, launching at my sister. My sister was a fighter, she wouldn't go down so easily. Magic would help her, yes, but would she risk using it? Even to —potentially— save my life?

Slow motion. Gideon's panicked expression masked by a light courage. His eyes focused on the baseball bat he procured from his pack. My enemy-turned-friend. Even if the courage was all a façade, he was still helping me.

Slow motion.

Slow motion.

Slow motion.

Slow motion.

Pacifica.

Even in the blurry haze, I looked to find the eyes of my beloved.

Her eyes were wide with panic, concern, and fear. How could I have done this to her? I'd already put her through so much torment, why did I have to do this to her?

Could I end this? Could I do it?

My vision was getting worse, I felt hazy, and not in the fun buzzed way. If I were going to die, I'd have to at least try to save them. I had to.

I couldn't see where everyone was anymore. It all appeared to be colors. The creature, stark white, easy to see. The worst thing about knowing where the creature was, was knowing that that's exactly where my sister was.

Where was my sister? Why couldn't I see her? Why couldn't I see her? Why couldn't I see her? Why couldn't I save her?

Yelling, screaming, cries of terror, I heard all of it. I couldn't distinguish who was doing what. However I knew that it was the people I cared about that were performing the action.

I had to stop this. I had to. It wasn't right to let them die for something that I had brought upon them.

"Stop." I tried to yell, my voice hoarse from not using it for a bit. My lips felt chapped and dry, despite the blood coating them.

No one heard.

"Please, stop!" I cried out but to no avail. No one could hear me.

Wait.

No one could hear me? Was I. . .no.

Was I dead?

It was a bizarre possibility. But the more I thought about it, the dots seemed to connect in my hazy state. They couldn't hear me, and the pain I felt in my chest diminished greatly.

Ah, so I was dead.

I tried to yell out once more, but my cries were left unanswered. Maybe if I was dead, the creature would leave the rest of them alone.

After all, it was me it wanted dead.

So I let go.

Or, I wanted to. I very much wanted to. But something slammed into my chest, allowing me to inhale once again. Painful, yes. Helpful, yes.

I frowned when the realization hit me. I looked up to see Gideon standing above me. "Dude, we have to get you out of here."

I tried to speak, but found I barely had a voice. "We. . .we need to get rid of it."

"Mabes and Paz are working on it." Gideon promised me. "I wanna help, but I'm not so coordinated. Do you have any ideas?"

"Simple." I nodded. "It wants me dead."

"No," Gideon shook his head. "It wants magic out of this world."

Realization dawned on me as I figured out what Gideon was trying to tell me. "Yes, it wants magic gone."

"How long can you last without your amulet?" Gideon asked.

"Hopefully a natural long life." I replied. "You don't have it by any chance, do you?"

Gideon, sadly, shook his head. "It's either with Mabel or Paz. Paz was the one who found your amulet, by the way."

"My guess is that she has it." I nodded slowly. "Look, I hate to be dramatic, but I'm bleeding out here. If you can get my amulet back to me, I can heal myself and then we can destroy it. Just like the creature wants. Just like it wants."

"Dipper, I promise I can get it for you." Gideon swore. "Just promise me one thing."

"I hardly do promises, but what?"

"Promise me you know what you're doing?" Gideon pleaded.

"I promise." I responded. I just hoped to hell I was right.

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Okay, I know I promised to have this finished by the end of February, and then I didn't update until May. Yikers, I'm sorry guys ),: what I'm going to try to do, is update once a week. Push myself, really. And I'll try to do that with every book of mine. Anyways, stay safe out there, and keep smiling, my lovelies

-Kaori Miyazono <3