My travel log 5

Black Lives Matter and Auburn mall

Last Saturday there was a Say her name protest. It was a protest about black women and girls that were also killed by police. It was at East Park on Shewsberry Street which by the way I found out the actual name is Christopher Columbus park. They should change the name but anyways. My parents dropped me off before they go to grocery shopping. I was there and I sat in the front. I saw Wanda but she didn't see me. I was waiting for Virginia to get there. They were talking and then she called which I don't like. She should have texted me to let me know she is there instead of calling me. I think that is rude. I walked further away to where the entrance is and I found her. Then we stand somewhere. I had a hard time hearing what was going on because we were in the back. I didn't feel like walking all the way up to the front now that it have started. Then I got annoyed again when someone called her and she was on the phone again. Rude. She should have let whoever was calling know that she is somewhere and they can talk later. I had to keep moving up so I don't have to hear her. After when they were done talking almost everyone went on their march. I wanted to march with everyone but Virginia wanted to look for Wanda. I tried to ask her if she want to march or to let her know that I want to but I don't think she understood what I was saying because I was wearing a mask and she is hard of hearing. I hate that I have to wear a mask all the time now. I can't wait until things go back to normal. We went up to the stage and there was Wanda We just hung out for a while and I met her son Manny. Virgina drive me crazy seeing her doing her Zumba dancing to the music. I had a good time but I wished I had march. I was looking forward to that. The next protest I go to I will. 

After it ended I left with Virginia to the hub and took bus 7. They are on a Sunday schedule and it is free. We have to go in from the back and just sit. There was missing seats now to keep everyone separated. I sat with Virginia. Then the bus stop at her stop and she left. I was waiting until it was closed to my stop before I can pull the string but then after when someone else pull the string I noticed that we kept going straight. We didn't go up on Queen street to go to May street. We were still on Channel Street so I got off right away and I had to walk the rest of the way home. I hate crossing the streets. Especially, Channel Street. Luckily it wasn't really busy but I wanted to make sure a car would stop for me before I crossed. When they did I ran to the other side. When I got to the hill I went up. When I got on top I was on Page street. Then I went right and I got home. I live on the corner. That was a pain. I hate taking the bus during this time. I got home and I had my pizza and I was hot so I had the AC on. Then went into my room and had the fan on. It was fun today and I hope I get to go to another protest soon. I want to be able to do something and help. I haven't done much advocacy since this whole virus except for posting and sharing articles on Facebook but I have gotten into trouble and people assume things about me. This Friday is Juneteenth. I don't know if they will be doing anything this year. Juneteenth is June 19th and it celebrates the end of slavery. I first heard about it a couple of years ago. 

Yesterday I saw Arturo and we went to the Auburn Mall since the Malls are open now. I was hoping that Hot Topic would be open but it isn't yet. Arturo needed to go get some paints so that's what we did and went to other stores in the mall. He also bought me some nuchos at the Maxican food place at the food court. You can only get take out right now. We been wearing masks while we were there. I'm hoping I will see him tomorrow but right now we don't know what to do. He wants us to do something outside because his father is home. I was also thinking maybe to have him over her Saturday so it will just be the two of us and I can feel like we are actually together. We are but I don't know. It feels that we are not even though we are and I don't know if it's because we been going out and we have to wear masks and there is this 6 feet apart thing which by the way we are not going to separate ourselves since we are together and we go somewhere together. We have never hold hands and I haven't put my head on his shoulder and we haven't been looking cute together. It's weird because we were for the 2 weeks we started to see each other and we made it official the second week. The way he looked at me was how Josh looked at me but it feel different now. So I don't know if it's because I don't really have feelings for him or if it's because of this whole virus thing. That's why I really want to have a day where we don't go out and stay inside just the two of us. 

I know when I was with Edgar my biggest complain was that he didn't want to go out and always want to stay in and have sex. But I want a balance. I want to go out sometimes and then stay in other times just to be alone and let our relationship grow. I don't want to have sex with him all the time either. We agreed not all the time. The first time we had sex it felt off for me too and I don't understand why. I know that for weeks we didn't see each other because we had to stay at home but I don't know if that changes things. I don't know what is going on with me or with him. I say that I love him but I don't know. I care about him and I want to learn Spanish just so when I meet his mom I will have a easier time talking to her. I hope our relationship will progress.