OXYGEN

XXXVIII

She was there, standing five feet away from me. Her eyes are twinkling as the sun reflects on her skin. She smiled, and took my breath for the last time.

***

My hands are trembling as I stand near the door. The hallways are empty and the silence is deafening. I keep on asking myself, why am I standing in front of his office?

To ask him?

Kailangan ko ba talaga siyang tanungin tungkol sa result na ito? Paano kung siya nga? Matutuwa ba ako? Matatakot? Why would Doctor Elliot do this? It's very risky.

But deep inside me, alam kong hindi ko makukuha ang mga sagot kung hindi ko siya tatanungin.

I took a deep long breath and was about to knock the door when it opened and revealed Doctor Elliot wearing his white coat.

Nahinto sa ere ang kamay ko. Kahit siya ay natigilan din nang makita ako at kumurap pa ng dalawang beses. I immediately composed myself and tried to relax.

"Ah, good morning... doc," naiilang kong saad sa kanya.

He coughed a bit and fixed his coat. Inilagay niya rin sa bulsa ng coat niya ang dala niyang itim na technical pen.

"Good morning, Cora. What brought you here?" He asked casually.

Napakurap ako ng ilang beses dahil sa tanong niya.

I already practiced my speech last night and I even memorized it for this sole purpose. Pero ngayon na kaharap ko siya, biglang bumara ang lalamunan ko at bumilis ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Normal pa ba 'to?

"Ah... Kasi, doc."

"It is your robot?"

Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya at agad na tumango.

My robot! Si Sunshine!

Nandoon nga pala siya sa mini-laboratory niya. He said na tatapusin namin siya kapag nakabalik na kami galing sa East. Tapos na kaya? Nagpa-function na ba siya?

"Gusto ko sanang tingnan," sagot ko sa kanya.

He pursed his lips before taking a sigh.

"Really?" Parang nagdadalawang-isip niyang tanong.

"Yes doc."

"Then why is your body telling me the opposite?"

Napakurap ako saglit at dinigest ang sinabi niya. Ano raw? Opposite?

"Cora, you keep on kneading your hands and your legs are not at ease. Your lips are shaking a bit and your breathings changed." Sigurado ang boses niya at halatang kanina niya pa ako ino-obserbahan. "What is it?"

Napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa bulsa ko at kinapa ang envelope na nalalaman ng result ng exam ni Herriene. Tiningnan ko siya ng seryoso bago nagsalita.

"Can we talk inside your office?"

"Can't we talk right here?" he countered.

"Gusto ko sanang... Sa loob natin pagusapan," my calm voice is no use but I'm trying my luck.

Napahawak siya sa kanyang tenga bago binuksan ng malapad ang pinto.

"Come in."

I stepped myself inside his office and his smell embraced me. Kahit ang amoy niya ay nasisinghot ko dito sa loob ng kanyang office. For a scent like his, the fragrance is like a drug that keeps on hitting me.

"Can we make this fast?" he asked after taking a seat.

Just by hearing the tone of his voice, I knew exactly why he said that. He don't want to see me.