Until We Meet Again

Twenty Five

JENNIE's POV
I am holding my chest and trying to normalize my breathing, Lisa is just looking at me with her poker face while Jisoo and Chaeng covered my back with a towel as they rub it, gently, thankfully after some quite time my breathing was finally back to normal. I really thought that i was gonna die that moment. Jisoo and Chaeng helped me to get up, i looked at Lisa and bowed my head and said "Thank you for saving me, if it wasn't for you maybe i am already dead". But i was shocked in her response. "Are you messing with me? At first you cut yourself and i treated your wound, and now? Drowning into the water just for me to perform a CPR on you? Are you that desperate to die? So that i could save you huh..... if you want to die please don't do it here. Don't do it in my house" Lisa said with full of anger in her voice. Honestly i could not defend myself anymore, because i also hate it. And i am really tired to speak for myself, because no one even wants to listen. I wanna say that this was all an accident, it really is, i didn't planned to drown myself in the pool. "Maybe that's one of the reasons why your baby didn't come out alive. Because her mom is not that strong to handle her problems, and too weak to make a decision for herself" Instead of saying anything my tears started from falling, i was sobbing. How could she say those word from me? and even though my foot still hurts. I run away from them and entered the house to get my clothes. I quickly wore it and, grabbed my things...and started to run away from that house, even though i know that there is no transportation in this place. Walking for a long time did not bothered me because i also bought a house here, just like we have planned but unfortunately the difference is that we bought separate houses. Maybe it will hundreds of meters away, it is okay to walk that far than to be with Lisa's house. That Lisa who told me to find somewhere else to kill myself is not the Lisa that i loved before. The new Lisa scares me, did i really hurt her that much to wish my death? She even mentioned my baby, who has nothing to do in this situation. She does not know the pain of the mother who lost her child. How could she speak about my baby in that way. Maybe she is right it is all my fault why my baby did not come out alive. Everything is my fault, because i ruin everything that i touch... but she doesn't know a single thing that is happening to me!

LISA's POV
I was feeling hungry and decided to go to the Kitchen and see how Jennie and Jisoo are doing. But unfortunately as soon as i showed up Jennie bleed herself. I went to put a pressure on her bleeding finger right away, as if my body moved by itself. I was waiting for Jisoo to come back with the medicine kit while still holding Jennie's bleeding finger when  i saw scars on her wrists.
My eyes were just in shocked and just stared her through her eyes, How could she do this to herself? I know what that scars mean and she can't fool anyone who've seen that.  After treating her, she thanked me but i didn't respond because i am angry at her. The girls decided to have a swim after eating and i agreed, and grant them permission. I've missed them so much so this is the least that i can do. After changing my clothes into a sports bra and swimming trunks in my room, i quickly went down to the pool hoping that they were already having fun there... But i saw someone drowning and i knew even from a far that it was Jennie, i didn't think twice and jumped to the pool and carry her. I am already shaking and panicking, i kept on pumping her chest as i yelled to call for Jisoo and Rose, they told me to perform a CPR which i quickly did, and luckily that worked and Jennie started to throw up the water that she had taken. I'm staring at her and i was really scared at that moment and i thought i'm gonna lose her forever. That scared feeling that i felt turned into madness right now, if she is planning to kill herself she is just being selfish. With all of my mixed up emotions and without thinking clearly, i said the words that i was not supposed to say, i even mentioned her baby. What a fucking asshole i am. She didn't argue with me and just continue to sob and find her way out of my house. While me, i froze on that spot and rewinding every single detail of my stupidity that the gilt could eat me up already. A shout from Jisoo melted me "You shouldn't have said that. We know that she caused you pain, but mentioning her dead baby is really below the belt. You didn't even know how she coped during the days that her baby died. As much as i want to be angry with you right now i know that you still care about her. You're so mean when you talk to her but i can see it in your eyes that you were just scared earlier". I snapped back from reality and went to my room to grab my car keys and wore a sweat pants. I am really worried about her right now because it is getting dark and there is no available transportation near this area, it also doesn't have any cellular services. That's one of the reasons why i chose to live here, in fact the house was supposed to be me and Jennie's but things got messy. I'm still driving at a high speed hoping that i'll see her, i badly needed to apologize for what happened.

Fuck that was painful :(