Breaking the Madness

Thirty-Eight

Jaiden POV

It was an agony that I had never experienced before, as I stood by her cold, lifeless body, in denial. It wasn't until this moment that I had fully accepted that my mate was gone, I would never see her beautiful smile again or her ocean deep eyes.

In fact, this would be the last time I would ever see her.

My stomach clenched with in me as I looked down at her manicured fingers within the soft inclines of the coffin. Taking her hand in mine, I begged for her to wake up, to look me in the eyes and say that this was all some crazy mistake. That she was alive and this was just some sick practice joke.

But she didn't wake up. No. She would never wake up again.

As sobs threaten to explode from me, i clenched my jaw and turned to look away from the one person who was supposed to stand by me forever. I was so angry at her, angry that she had left me here alone, but slowly I became angry at myself.
It was all my fault.
I had pushed her away, I had called her every kind of name under the stars, yet she had always come back to me with a smile in her eyes.

The thing is, I knew that she was my mate. From the moment that I had first laid eyes on her, she had been so full of passion and fire that I knew would make her perfect for me. But in my own stupidity I listened to Camilla's lies and now Anna had paid the price.

It wasn't a mystery who had murdered Anna. We all knew it was Camilla. She had left evidence all over Anna's body, that left the investigators with out a doubt on who had done it. She was now rotting in a cell, awaiting her fate.

It was just all so wrong, and as looked across the room to those who had truly loved Anna my heart broke all over again.

Jen knelt on her knees in the back of the chapel, too weak to stand or go any where near her dead sister. Thick tears ran down her cheeks as she mourned the loss of her best friend. Nothing could ever make the pain of loosing Anna leave Jen, and I truly believe that she mourned more deeply and more intensely than I or any other had.

Slowly I walked over to Jen, I couldn't stand still anymore. Stillness made me think of Anna. I hadn't slept, I hadn't sat down, I just could bear it.

Jen sniffled and looked up at me. She was conflicted and I understood why. I was Anna's mate, but I had never really acted like it. In fact, I had never really been anything but cruel to Anna and that was my biggest regret.

"She loved you, you know? Even when you treated her like shit she never thought a single bad thought about you," Jen whispered, her words were accusing and they made my heart clench in pain.

"I know." It was all I could manage to say without breaking down.

She nodded and closed her eyes as another round of tears came upon her.
"It's just not fair you know? Anna never hurt a fly in her whole life, yet Camilla hated her so much that she..... that she...." Jen couldn't say it.

"Killed her," I finished for her and Jen burst into tears.
Jared ran over to his mate from across the room pulling her to him in comfort.

I wish could do that. I wish that I could hold her small, delicate body against me. To keep her there, safe, where no one could ever hurt her again.

It was too late.

And as I turned around, glimpsing her pale face for the last time, they closed the coffin taking her away.
I broke in that moment. Falling to my knees the tears I had kept at bay for the past couple of days spilling out and I was overwhelmed with grief.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't keep on living this life without the other half of my soul in it. I just couldn't hand it.

A pair of warm hands pulled me against them as I weeped.
"It's alright mate. You'll be alright. I know how you're feeling right now but with time, with time it softens. I promise you. You just need to be strong okay? You need to be strong, Anna would want to you to be strong," Ben told me as he hugged me.