HYMN OF THE RAIN

Thinking 'bout you lots lately

I almost skipped school this morning. But yet again, I didn't because of my brother.

Even though I managed to get through the day by acting like everything is great and dandy, my friends could see right through me. Maybe they could. 

Because all I wanted to do was to sit on the chair beside Rachel's bed. I need to make sure she's alright, especially with the what-ifs frequently occupying my mind. Or maybe I don't want to relieve the whole experience of losing your loved one while you're occupied. Whatever it was, it drove me to the hospital right after the school bell rang.

I was out quicker than Chad - and that must be a record. Especially because the guy is known by everyone for removing himself out of the place once the first ring of the bell can be heard.

And here I am now at the hospital. Mom doesn't know I'm here yet since she's gone to the toilet. Aunt Poppy does, though and she has urged me to grab some snacks from the vending machine.

"You must be tired. You have to eat!"

"I'm fine, don't worry. I've had my lunch."

"Sasha, I know those school lunches ain't gonna make you full! Here-" she offers me some money, "-get yourself something to eat. I don't need another of my niece to end up on a hospital bed, you know!"

I shake my head with a polite smile. The lady has a point, but sometimes she seems like she can't deliver what she means with better words. 

"Alright. I'll go get them for you by myself."

"No, Auntie, I swear I'm full! I'll buy something if I'm hungry, I promise."

"Sasha-"

"What's going on?"

Mom finally appears and when she finally realizes I'm here, her eyes go wide with surprise.

"Sasha honey, what are you doing here?"

"I need to make sure she's alright."

"She's getting better, sweetheart," Mom glances at Rachel as she's sleeping soundly. Good thing our little bickering don't bother her. "you don't have to worry."

I nod, "I can stay here, right?"

A frown makes its way onto her lips as she rests her hand on her hip, "Hon, you still have school tomorrow."

"It's only 4!"

"We're alright here. She's getting better anyway. You don't need to worry."

"Mom, I just want to make sure."

"I know," she pulls me into a hug. If my friends can even see my worries, I doubt I can hide it from her, "Nothing bad is going to happen, if that's what you've been worrying."

"I just don't want to lose her, Mom."

By now I'm whispering, trying not to let even Aunt Poppy, who's busy typing away on her phone to hear. I know my fear can look like something irrational or dramatic. But after losing my Dad in the same hospital so suddenly, the whole event is freaking me out. I bet it scares her too. 

Her arms tighten a bit and mine do too.

"We won't lose her. She's safe with us."

I nod, hoping it'll provide enough of an answer and comfort for her. This time I don't dare to go anywhere. I'll be right here to comfort my family, unlike what I did when Dad was laying on the hospital bed.