HYMN OF THE RAIN

These Scars Scream Your Name

I put down my last piece of sushi for a while. I didn't expect the mood between us suddenly goes from chill to this tense so quick. And worse, I have no idea on what she's trying to say.

"What happened?"

"You remember," she exhales, "You remember how I ask you to forget about that one guy altogether?"

My mind immediately catches on, but I still hope it's not true. I really hope my suspicions aren't correct.

I nod in response and she continues, "What if I tell you that, um... I'm wrong?"

"Wrong? How are you even wrong? I've told you all about it."

"Yeah, but, you know how sometimes a situation needs to be seen from more than one perspectives?" she sighs, "Okay, most situations really. But that's not the point!"

Rosa rambles on, while I try my best to hide my nerves away, "What if the guy has a good reason to disappear like that?"

"He still has no right to just barge back into my life after that," I seethe, "Suddenly disappearing after the damn letter and all of the sudden he showed up with a girl. He could be lying. He could be a bastard trying to trick me again."

"Key word : could," she reminds me while I glare at her, "You don't know the whole story. He didn't get to tell you all about it."

"You really think if he text me and apologize for everything, I should just accept it?"

Rosa realizes the bitterness and disbelief lacing my voice. She sighs.

"Not immediately."

"Then I shouldn't at all. Why are you bringing this up anyway?" I grab my iced tea and drink it straight to the bottom. Maybe a cool beverage can chill me out a bit.

She eyes her chopsticks as if they're the most interesting thing to ever exist.

"Rosa."

"Hm?"

"What's happening?"

If we were in a relaxed conversation, she would've replied with something absolutely corny for sure. But now, she seems like a child who knows she'll get scolded. And I have a suspicion why. Though I hope it won't be right at all.

"Ro..."

"You'll hate me for this."

"I will if you don't tell me what's up."

She pulls out her puppy-eyes and in response I roll mine. Then she sighs, getting up from her seat.

"Where are you going?"

Rosa stops for a minute, her eyes darting between the door and me. Then she runs to give me a brief hug, mumbling "I'm sorry you need this don't hate me" very quick before running out of the sushi place.

And I sit there, dumbfounded by her act. I know she generally has a weird sense of humor which not all people get, but I'm clueless on this one.

I get up, grabbing my bag before walking towards the door to join her. She's done this before that one time she wanted to tell me that she's lost my favorite book. That time she came to my house only after a few hours, then only told me about it.

I was so worried that I thought she was kidnapped or something, but when I asked her about it, she told me she simply gone to a diner nearby to calm herself.

I get that it's her way to cope with strees, but I swear if she leaves me behind now...

"Excuse me, Miss."

I turn around, my breath is hitched upon the thought of who it can be sneaks in.

"Your friend forgets this," the waiter hands out Rosa's bracelet and I sigh in relief.

"Oh, thank you."

He nods and I make my way out of the place. I feel my chest is heavier. Or maybe it's because it feels suffocating whenever I remember about the matter.

I mean, I thought I finally found it. Not to be naive, but there was this little glimmer of hope - even if it's so tiny when you have what I had. The letter almost made me burst into happiness.

I remembered thinking I indeed had found what I've been looking for. Someone who could treat me well, respect me, like me the way I am. Even better when we could grow together and figure out adulthood side by side.

But that was the naive part of me.

Only few people have found their fairytales that way. Deep down I've known I'm not one of them anyway.

I huff, looking around for the bus. Fishing my phone out, I call Rosa. But of course, it goes straight to her voicemail - even after a few trials. I can't believe that girl will leave me alone in a city this foreign to me.

Switching to Google Map, I type in the juice place I've searched up the night before. They say it's got the best juice combinations in town. After the amount of junk food I've eaten within the past few hours, I guess I need something healty to balance it a bit.

The bus arrives and after one last look around to make sure Rosa has indeed gone away and I'm on my own, I hop into the vehicle to take me to my destination.

My head is drenched with thoughts regarding the matter Rosa brought up earlier. And even when I hate to admit it, it still affects me so much.

My feet bring me out of the vehicle after it halts to a stop, then there it is - the famous juice place I've wanted to try. The place isn't fancy, yet it has this tropical theme covering the whole room.

From the cash register to the walls until the ceilings, the room practically screams tropical with all the decorations going on.

Sitting all by myself in the booth isn't too bad. Especially when I realize I've craved for some alone time after being dragged around almost half of the day.

I'll call Rosa again later, but for now, it's me time in the foreign city with a tall glass of juice.

What if he suddenly comes back?

Then what about it? I scoff. There's nothing you can do to change the past. And what he's done... I still have a difficult time forgiving it.

But at the end, my heart still skips a beat when the guy in the black jacket enters the room. While his eyes search for something, scanning the whole place in one quick swipe, I can't help the tiny hope that suddenly makes its presence known with the blossoming feeling. Weirdly, it feels a lot like happiness.

The pair of eyes stop when they land on me and his steps doesn't stop until he arrives at my booth.

"Blue." he exhales, as if he's finally found something he's been looking for awhile.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to say something. Will you hear me out?"

I have a hard time keeping my composure. I'll likely burst with anger if no one is around. But we're not alone and I can't possibly scream at him, telling that he should've done that at the time when we met in front of McDonald's. I want to tell him to get lost, but I know I'd be lying to myself if I say I don't care what he's got to say.

"Depends on what you want to say."

He sits down, head hung low.

And all I think of is how the heck am I supposed to react to all of this? It feels like someone - more precisely Rosa- just slams all of this in my face in one solid punch. I don't know if I can get over this.