HYMN OF THE RAIN

Brittle Hands

Rosa hugs me tight. Maybe if she hugs me tight enough she can glue together those broken pieces.

I'm sitting on the floor of my room and she's right beside me.

She suddenly popped into my room, saying she needed to borrow my notes yet quickly dismissed her request upon seeing me. 

Rosa asked what happened and it needed for her to nag me for a few minutes until I gave in, telling her what happened.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," I laugh, "It's not a big deal. I'm just being too dramatic."

"You're not," she shakes her head, "I'd cry the second he left if I were you. You're not overreacting."

"I shouldn't cry. I mean, who am I? I'm not his girlfriend or anything."

"After that letter? You're not wrong for being sad. Come on, stop belittling your own emotions."

I chuckle, but at the same time tears stream down my face. What a sad sight to see. That's why I don't want anyone to see me like this. But of course, I'm not good enough of an actress yet to cover these things up from those around me.

I didn't mean to let my tears spill like Niagara Falls.

"Cry it all out. But after that, promise me you'll go to New York and forget all these behind," she sighs, "You shouldn't think of these things there. Just get yourself a new start."

"New start?"

"Forget about Jared, Tom and even that stupid Jo! Focus on other things, you get what I mean?"

"I will."

Rosa smiles, getting up then offers me a hand for support. 

"I just don't understand why he'd do that."

"Maybe he's telling the truth. You know how bossy those girls can be, especially when their crush is working for their dads."

"That's just..." I exhale, "Too much drama."

"I know. So forget all about it, patch yourself up and stand tall. New York means new beginnings, baby!"

"You won't be there..."

"I know. But I'll make sure to drop by some time," she points her index finger at me in a playfully threatening manner, "but you have to come to my place too."

"I will. Jeez..." 

"I know how much you love to stay in your room." she smirks, opening the door to leave, "I'll be downstairs. Clean yourself up."

"Thanks." I laugh and she then proceeds to close the door behind her.

Rosa concluded everything up for me. She said I need 'explanation to move on. If you don't, it'll be too hard to do so.'

But with everything from how his phone broke, to his new boss' daughter having a crush on him to the point she'd drag him everywhere with her just seem so unbelievable.

My eyes dart to my study table, knowing that in the top drawer I still have that white envelope neatly stored in between my journal book.

Maybe I should get rid of that.

I walk up to the table, then grab the said envelope. I can't throw it to the trashcan though. There are too many doubts clouding head whenever I try to.

But like Rosa said, moving on is all about little progress.

And for me, not crying is enough for today. Because this thing aches so much I wish I can get my chest wide open to pick the pain out of me.