HYMN OF THE RAIN

Tinted Letter

I've been meaning to avoid Jo since what happened that night.

I'm not the one who's brave enough to face dilemmas nor problems right in the face.

Most often I find myself needing some time to prepare myself before diving back into it and solving the whole thing.

I've planned on how to avoid him to the last bits.

But all of them go to waste when Linda asks me about how he's been.

"I haven't seen him around here."

"Neither do I." I make out a reply as I bury myself deep into my tasks. To be honest, every time the door opens, I always pretend I'm much, much more busier than I am.

"Weird. He usually drops by at least once a week."

"Mhm."

"Aren't you guys quite close?"

"We're friends."

I hear Linda sighs outloud, "I hope he's alright. It's weird when you don't see the regulars for some time."

"He's probably busy with work."

"Poor boy. He sure works hard, doesn't he?"

"Yeah."

The sound of me picking some books then arrange them in the racks fill the room for a few seconds before Linda questions about the letter.

"What letter?"

"The one from that New York university, duh. Do you accept it?"

In truth, I haven't replied to them even after a week. Before that night, I thought I'd reply within the next day after I got the acceptance letter.

"Uh, I haven't."

Upon seeing Linda's reaction, I quickly reassure her that I will soon.

Perhaps after I can sort my thoughts properly. Because since what Jo said, I began to think it all over carefully, even when all I want to do is accept is as soon as I can.

Maybe he only means well. Mom does seem a bit sad and even Miles notices it too. But they do give their blessing for me to go on.

"I'll miss you a lot, Sash."

I look up, seeing Linda a bit teared up behind the cash register.

"I'll miss you too. I doubt I can find a boss as great as you are over there."

"I hope whoever will employ you will treat you good. You're a wonderful employee, darling."

I smile, walking over to hug her.

Even though I've only known her for less than a year, she's been one of the many faces that fills my days. And she's been nothing but kind to me - which is definitely far beyond my expectations for my first job.

The week goes on, giving me no sort of answers at any form.

No texts, no encounters, no weekly visits.

Jo Scott seems to disappear into thin air, as if he never existed.

After 2 weeks I finally reply to the letter, stating that I'll gladly accept the offer. Then I begin to prepare everything for my move and also sort all the things related to my admission with Rachel's help.

The biggest hit comes out of nowhere, right after I'm officially going to attend the university.

I come in for my Sunday shift and I didn't even realize something's up until I accidentally catch Linda's hesitant stare on me.

I've felt her stare on me ever since I step into the store, yet I just brush it off.

"What's wrong?"

It takes her a few seconds before finally asking me to come up to her. I notice the white envelope she's been holding only when I'm close enough to see her hands under the counter.

She fumbles with the edge of the paper before looking at me carefully.

"Someone asked me to give this to you," she hands over the white envelope. I can feel the paper isn't so thick that it fattens the envelope, "Open this when you're already alone, alright?"

"Can't I open it now?"

"No. The person strictly said to open it only when you're completely alone."

I furrow my brows, gazing at the mysterious letter I've been given.

Maybe it's from him?

Or maybe it's just a prank...

I thank Linda, before stashing the letter into my bag for me to open later.

Just like that, I drown myself in work, hoping it'd get rid of my defeaning thoughts.

I wait until I've already hopped on the bus on the way home.

Thankfully it isn't as stuffed as it usually does.

I fish out the letter from my bag, opening it carefully.

Maybe it's just a prank. Lex got one of these the last time after all. Maybe they're just messing with me. 

It's written in a messy handwriting with blue ink.

I'm sorry for confusing you that night. I really didn't mean to.

You asked why I was holding you back and sorry it took me so long to answer your question.

Maybe you've figured it out. Or not.

But it's still the same reason as to why I asked for 'Post Books delivery service' so I can take you home after buying you dinners and lunches. And still the same reason as to why I introduced to my Mom and Harry. You've somehow become so important to me that I need to drop by once a week to see you at Post Books (even when there are book stores near where I work).

Probably I shouldn't have liked you this much - I certainly didn't plan to. But I wish you good luck for New York. I hope you know I'm very happy you got accepted there.

Oh, I didn't get the chance to tell you that Mom just got a job offer. It's out of town, so we need to move away. She hasn't told us where, though, she's saying that it's a surprise.

I thought I could stay behind to work here for some time. But now that you're leaving, I can't find any reason why I shouldn't move with them.

I'm sorry I haven't got the chance to tell you in person -  I figure you probably wouldn't want to talk to me since that night.

I hope you know I'll always be waiting for you, Blue. I'm not asking you to wait for me - that'll be too much to ask from you. Just know I'll still be waiting. 

Sorry, that's kinda cheesy of me. But I mean every word.

Best of luck, Blue.

- Jo Scott.

The bus halts, giving time for an old lady to get off the bus. I almost miss my stop if I didn't look around to realize this is where I need to get off at.

Clunching the letter in my hold, I quickly put it back inside my bag.

All the while, I mindlessly walk through the pedestrians.

One question stops me dead in my tracks, though, and a man almost cusses me out for stopping so suddenly that he almost ran into me. But that's all it takes for me to chase the departing bus and hopping back in with a new destination in mind.

When I get off that bus again, my feet swiftly carry me to the same place Jo took me on the back of his bike a few months ago.

But this time, a flyer is on the door, announcing that the building is for rent. And even after I knock on the door desperately hoping someone would answer, I'm only met with silence and curious glances from the passersby.