Ruin my life (Gustav åhr)

thirty nine

I awoke to Colby sleeping by my side, i turned over to look at the other side, thinking about my husband, how could i be a widow, how is he dead, so many questions i will never get the answer to, i felt drained. No matter how much colby tried to replace Gus i felt, empty, even when he touched me.
"Morning lauren." Colby kissed my shoulder, i aighed heavily, "Morning."
"Youre due in a week, you happy?" He smiled at me, "Yes i am, i cant wait to get this thing out of me." I laughed, he chuckled with me, "I can't wait till we start our lives together," He kissed me, i pulled away, "Im going to go shower," I exited the guest bedroom and made my way into my own, what did you really think id let colby sleep in my husbands bed? Ahaha.
I sat on our bed, gus and i's bed, staring at the ceiling. Wondering if heaven was a real place, and beyond the mistakes Gustav made if he's there right now. If his beautiful soul was enough to make him pass the gates. I felt myself sob, and i realized what i was doing to myself, i picked myself up and wiped my eyes. I made my way into the shower and cleaned myself off.

"Hey baby.." I pet my stomach as i dried myself off with my towel. "hey Lauren?!" Colby walked into the bathroom and i jumped in fear, "yeah?" i turned to him. "You wanna watch a movie?" He asked me, i nodded slowly, making my way out of the bathroom into my room, opening the wrong drawer, i looked at Gus' shirts, sadness filling my body, colby closed the drawer slowly as i stood there and stared at the now closed drawer, i looked up at Colby, "Can you get out please? I dont want you in this room." I said passively, he sighed and left without saying a word. I opened my own drawer this time, grabbing myself some pyjamas. I made my way into the living room, Colby sat there with some popcorn and a blanket, my favourite movie on the screen. "You're so thoughtful." I smiled at Colby as i sat with him, he got closer to me, "i know right." He chuckled, we began watching the movie and my mind wandered to Gus and i...

Gus and i walked through the house for sale, we held hands, it wasn't a big big house, but it was pretty big, the kitchen has granite counter tops, a walk in shower in our bedroom bath, a clawfoot tub. "Oh gus im so in love with this house."
"so am i Laury, and im so in love with you.." I smiled widely, "Can we afford it?" I asked, "You want it, you got it." He walked out of the bedroom to talk to the realtor. I waited patiently as i looked around our future room, "Its ours." I heard him say as the door creeked, "Seriously?!" I said happily, he nodded, i ran into his arms and hugged him and he picked me up and kissed me. "I can't believe how far we've made it Lauren. Im so happy i put my faith in you." "I fucking love you!" I said back.

My eyes fo used and reality hit, fuck. I looked at colby who fell asleep next to me.
I grabbed my phone as i heard it vibrate, looking at my lock screen, Gus and i in front of our sold house sign. I smiled, i looked at the message i'd received,

unknown: Meet me in the back yard.

me:  who is this

unknown: Please just look outside.

I got up quietly and made my way to the back, looking out the window scared. I noticed a tall person wearing all black standing at the pool. I furrowed my eyebrows opening my back door with a knife in my hand, terrified.
"Hello?" I said suspiciously,
"Laury." I heard Gus' voice,
"Gus?!" I almost screamed, he turned around and i gasped, about to faint.

My eyes opened and i was laying in my bedroom,
"Hey." Gus said as he hovered over me,
"What the fuck. What the fuck, am i dead?" I asked, i was crying, "I don't wanna leave my baby."
"No laury, i'm so sorry i did this but i had to have everything play out perfectly." He apologized, i sat up, taking him in. "I thought you were dead, what are you talking about?" I bit my lip,
"I faked my death, i had to. To get out of the lifestyle we had, i was never going to get away from the drugs Laury, i was never going to get away from all those negative influences, im sorry, i just wanted what's best for our kid and you." He kissed my stomach,
"Gus, you could have just quit." I cried,
"My contract, i couldn't do it anymore." He gave me a sad smile, "Its been months!" I said loudly,
"i know.." He mumbled.
"I missed you." He said, "and you." He gave my belly another kiss, "Gus i missed you so much!" I hugged him tighter than i ever did, "never do that again.." I cried, "i won't.." He sighed,
I leaned in and kissed him softly, he kissed me back, leaning over me, i missed his taste, his smell, his body...

He kissed down my neck and chest, making me moan, he took off my shirt and bra, undoing my pants and taking off my underwear, licking me, but that's not what i wanted right now, i wanted him.
I pulled him back up, pulling his shirt off, unbuttoning his jeans, pulling down his boxers, i kissed him again as he touched my pussy with his dick, i moaned in his mouth, he slowly went inside me and he groaned, "fuck i missed you." He began thrusting in and out of me, faster and faster, i was running out of breathe, he put his hand on my neck, i studied his body, taking it all in as if i wouldn't ever again, staring at all his tattoos, "Fuck me harder." I moaned, he pounded into me even faster, i moaned loudly and Gus kissed me to muffle my noises. Suddenly i felt his warm cum inside me. I smirked as he kissed me.

"So Colby is on the couch downstairs..wanna explain?" He looked over at me, i bit my lip,
"He's just been keeping me company.." I looked over at him too, "he slept in my bed?" Gus asked, i laughed, "you really think i would let him?"
he smiled, "good but you guys had sex for sure." He huffed, "I thought you were dead and i was just looking for comfort...Im sorry babe, but nothing and no one can replace you." I apologized, he kissed me, "It's not your fault.." We smiled at each other,
"But seriously get him the fuck out of here." He laughed, "Okay.."