Ruin my life (Gustav åhr)

twenty six

I walked into my apartment five hours later..i felt cold and sad. I walked into Gus and i's room and grabbed my pj's from a drawer, i took of my shirt and looked at the bruises on my skin, i cried. My body ached and i threw myself onto my bed, getting under the blankets. I cried myself to sleep.

"Lauren.." I was awoken my my Gus. I pulled him onto me and hugged him very tightly, i began to cry and cry and he just laid with me until i decided to speak. "Thank you for coming, it means so much.." I continued to cry, "Anything for you babe, what the fuck happened..?" He asked, i sighed,
"Look over there.." I pointed the bureau and he walked to it and read the police files..
I saw an angry mean look on his face,
"He raped you?!" He screamed, i began to cry louder,
"He fucking raped you, oh my god Lauren, i'm so sorry i told you to flirt, i told you, im such a bad human being. Fuck Lauren i'm going to fucking murder him." He paced around the room,
"I'm going to fucking-"
"Stop!" i yelled as i cried, "Just fucking lay with me, please Gus, i fucking need you, the police will take care of it, please just fucking come in bed with me, i'm so scared of nothing, i just fucking want you here with me to help me feel okay." Gus suddenly dropped his face and sat with me, "I love you Lauren.." He whispered as he played with my hair slowly, i cried in his arms.

I awoke to a poke to my side, i gasped until i realized it was Gus..He picked me up and carried me to our bathroom, placing me on the counter.
I noticed he'd ran a bath with bubbles and rose petals, i felt a small smile form on my lips, he put his hand to my shirt, "is this okay?" He asked,
i nodded slowly and he lifted it, he stared at my chest and i got uncomfortable until i realized he was staring at the hickeys Mark had left on me, Gus put his finger over the marks he'd left from when he choked me for pleasure, Gus had sad eyes and didn't know what to say, neither did i.
He sighed and leaned in and hugged me, he took off my bra and pants and underwear and lifted me and placed me into the bath,
"Google, play Lauren's playlist at low volume." Gus said and i closed my eyes from the warmth. My music played and i felt okay, like i was safe with Gus.
"I made your favourite soup, creme of broccoli. I'll bring it to you, i put on your favourite movie on the tv in our room for after your bath and i ran down to the store and got your favourite snacks, i also uh...got you this.." He picked up a small box from his pocket, i stared at it.
He opened it slowly and I smiled at the thing inside, it was a ruby ring, the trimming was black,
"It's real." He said, "Please tell me you like it.."
"I really do." I placed my hand out and he put it on my finger. "It's so beautiful.." I mumbled.
"I got it last week, wanted to thank you for being my positive thing in life..you do so much for me without realizing Lauren..i appreciate you more than anything in this world.." He reached for my hand and i squeezed it as i began to cry,
"Can you get out please.." I said,
"I just don't want you to look at my body.."
"Sure." He simply said and left quickly.
After awhile i got out my skin was wrinkled and i stared at myself in the mirror once i was dressed,
my neck had hand marks and they were big and purple, i couldn't believe it. I was..well..yeah..
I cried to myself for a few moments before leaving the bathroom and making my way into bed. Gus sat there with a tray of soup, and my favourite snacks were on the bed, sour patch kids, slush, kit kats, skittles, and a bag of Doritos, i tried to smile and sat next to him, i ate the soup,
"This is so good, i didn't know you could cook.."
"Sometimes, when i want." Gus chuckled,
"Want anything else..?" He asked, i shook my head.

We sat there in silence as we watched a movie, ratatouille, my favourite.
"Lauren im gonna postpone tour." Gus cleared his throat and i stared at him in anger,
"Why?"
"Because something bad happened and i want to be here for you, i don't want to have you around things or people that can make you uncomfortable...i wanna keep you safe and comfortable." He stated, it was sweet but i didn't want that.
"Don't, i'm not going to stop my life because of this stupid thing that happened, i'm gonna be fine.." I mumbled. Maybe he was right,
"Or just go without me." I suggested,
"No."

Gus left to another room and i heard him through the walls making a phone call.
"Sum bad happened, can we postpone tour for a week? It's really serious, i'm gonna need time alone with her.." I heard muffled, i sighed, i'd ruin everything.
"Tracy, please try and convince our manager, or else you're gonna have to go without me.."
My eyes widened, i picked up my phone and texted tracy immediately, saying to not go without him for anything at all costs.

Gus made his way back into our bedroom and laid back down with me, he gave me a kiss on the neck and sighed as he placed his head onto me.
"You cannot miss your first tour because of me, that isn't happening." I said sternly, he chuckled,
"Guess who's not deciding that for me." He bopped me on the nose and we stayed quiet.