Princess of SAMCRO

Notes

I sit in the office the next day, and find it difficult to concentrate. My mind keeps coming up with different scenarios as to why those damn reports have differing times. It's exhausting really, because it kept me up most of the night.

I find myself staring aimlessly at nothing in particular when my thoughts are interrupted by a Scottish accent. "Where yer head at Brooklyn?" I honestly had not even heard Chibs come into the office and I have no idea if he had said something prior to breaking me out of my trance.

"Oh, uh... Sorry. What had you said?" I ask him absentmindedly.

"You okay darlin?" He asks.

"Yea I'm okay Chibs. Just daydreaming," I tell him with a halfhearted smile.

He raises his eye at me but continues, "I was saying I've got a potential prospect coming in today. He's gonna start hanging around. Can ya help him get set up?"

This takes me by surprise, "A new prospect already?" I asked. Juice just got his top rocker and I'm surprised that the club is taking on someone else so soon.

He nods, "Gonna need the numbers. Jax went to visit Opie the other day. Opie wants to earn straight when he gets out."

Another surprise. Opie will be getting out of Stockton within the next six months. I'm taken a back momentarily that he won't be jumping right back into the club when he gets out, that's what all the guys do. But it makes sense what with Donna and being away from his kids for so long. I actually admire Opies attempt at normalcy but I know it won't be easy for him.

"Yea of course Chibs. I'll be here all day and will make sure he gets his coveralls. Want to put him on repos with Juice when he gets here?"

"That'd be great," he says with a smile and kisses my forehead before heading back across the lot towards the clubhouse.

Alone again with my thoughts, I let my mind wander to that night. I try to think of significant details but the whole thing is a blur. When Gemma told me what had happened, I felt numb. There were no tears like you might expect, but just an overpowering sense of numbness. The tears came a few hours later, once the initial shock wore off, and it feels like they didn't stop for days. I remember asking Gemma over and over if she was sure, and she kept stroking my hair and tell me how sorry she was. It is actually the time in my memory when Gemma was the most nurturing.

I had wanted to go to the hospital to see my parents, believing that would have made it more real. Gemma wouldn't take me though, saying that it wasn't going to help, that it would only make it worse. I remember being mad at her for that, but there was nothing I could do. Gemma and Clay brought me back to their house, and I remember Clay leaving immediately after on his bike. I remember that specifically because I had thought maybe he was going to the hospital and I again felt mad that I wasn't allowed to go.

Gemma made me tea and something for dinner that I hadn't had the stomach for. It was then that I had started to panic about where I would live, realizing that I didn't have any family that I was close to. "You'll stay with us Brooklyn. You are part of this family now." Gemma had told me this and I immediately knew that she wasn't only talking about herself and Clay, she was talking about SAMCRO.

When the bell on the office door chimes, I snap out of my memories, smiling slightly, grateful that I have a family even after losing everything so long ago.

"What are you smiling at?" Gemma asked before the door even closed, "I know you and Juice are an item but I didn't expect you to be daydreaming like a damn teenager," she says with a smirk of her own.

I roll my eyes, "I wasn't thinking about Juice. And I'm not some lovesick schoolgirl."

"Yea, sure you aren't," she says with her signature sass. I roll my eyes again but smile. Okay so she is a little right.