Mystify Love

Chapter 16

LIES

"She really said that to Weston? I can't believe it!" 

I woke up because of the noises in my surroundings. Dahan-dahan kong minulat ang aking mga mata upang malaman kung nasaan ako at napagtanto kong nass isang hospital pala ako. Unti-unti kong pinalibot ang aking paningin sa paligid, tumambad sa akin ang mga mukha ng mga kaibigan kong punong-puno ng pag-aalala. 

Isa-isa silang lumapit sa akin upang alalayan ako sa pag-upo. 

"How are you feeling, Yusra? May masakit ba sa'yo? You want me to call a doctor?" Sunod-sunod na tanong sa akin ni Lia. 

Ngumiti ako sa kanila ngunit hindi ito umabot sa aking mga mata.

"I don't want to lie that I am okay dahil kita naman sa itsura ko, how shit I look like right now, how the pain is suffocating me and it causes me to be put in here." Peke akong natawa. "I am not okay." 

Mica immediately hugged me when my body trembled again. All of my friends are looking at me with sadness on their faces. Isay is not around, maybe, she's doing something else. 

I began to cry on Mica's shoulder, I poured all the heartache and pain on her shoulder, hoping that the pain would stop in an instant. 

But I was wrong… kahit anong iyak ko, kahit umiyak pa ako ng dugo, only him, the person that I love can stop the pain. 

"You can get through this, Yusra. I know you can do this, I believe in you. We are always with you, just ask for our help and we're willing to do anything to ease your pain." Mica said, hinaplos nito ang aking likod upang patahanin ako sa pag-iyak. 

 "Siya ba ang nagdala sa akin dito?" Tanong ko, hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya, umaasa akong isasagot nila ay oo, pero hindi.

Tahimik lamang sila at hindi nagtangkang sumagot, ano pa ba ang aasahan ko? Iniwan na niya ako. 

I just shook my head while I was fakingly laughing, the tears from my eyes didn't stop even when I forced myself that I don't want to cry anymore. 

May sarili atang isip ang mga mata ko dahin hinayaan nilang dumalayo nang dumaloy ang mga luha sa aking mata. 

It aches, knowing the person that used to be mine suddenly gone, the routine that you always do with him becomes unusual, the laughter, the love and the happiness becomes nothing in one snap. It all fades away in an instant without knowing the real reason behind it.

I wanted to scream hoping the pain would stop when I shouted all the things that I wanted to say to him, how cowardly and bullshit he is for making me feel miserable. 

Ilang oras akong tahimik, nakatingin sa kawalan kahit panay ang biro ng mga kaibigan ko upang mapasaya ako pero kahit isang beses ay hindi ko nakayanang tumawa hanggang sila na ang sumuko. They just waited and waited for me to open up but I didn't say any words, their presence was enough for me. 

My Mommy comes in after how many hours, she's with my sister who's looking at me with worry in her eyes. 

May oxygen mask pa rin ako, my friend says that the doctor allows me to remove my mask but my mom disagrees. Nais nitong patuloy pa rin akong pagsuotin upang umayos ang aking paghinga. 

"How are you?" My Mom asked. 

"I'm okay, Mommy." Sagot ko. 

Kahit sa totoo lang hindi ako okay, gustong-gusto kong umiyak sa harap nila pero hindi ko magawa. Gusto kong yakapin ako ni mama at sabihin na magiging maayos din ako, magiging maayos din ang lahat na makakayanan ko ang simpleng pagsubok na ito pero sino ang niloloko ko? My Mom will never do that for me.