Galleria

Chapter 35

Ever since I was a child, I keep on asking about my existence.

'Why am I alive?'

My parents showered me their love and many material things in life but I still feel so empty. There will always be a hole in my heart that cannot be filled.

That emptiness gave out the worst in me. I got obsess to find out why am I existing. What is my mission? Why am I here?

I slept with so many girls when I was in college, so many that I lost count. I cut ties with them almost every week and find a new replacement. I cannot stop. I wanted to feel that fulfillment I've been seeking for a very long time.

I tried my best to strive for something I don't know.

I achieved my goals but why does it feels like it's not enough. I got everything I want but I still feel so empty.

'And then she came. Unexpectedly, that certain emptiness; the hole in my heart. Little by little, she's filling it. But I've been in denial and I play dumb."

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I don't usually feel like this but now, I am having a cold sweat. My hands are trembling which is very unusual.

I'm standing here for just a minute but it feels like forever.

The door slowly creaks and I can't help but to get nervous once more.

"W-hat the hell are you doing here?!" she madly asked as soon as she saw me standing outside her apartment.

"C-an I talk to you, please." I feel so hopeless but I have to endure this.

"Come in." her voice sounds irritated and mad at the same time.

"So how was it?" her eyes were blazing and her right eyebrow arched. She look at me full of disgust and hatred.

"How do you feel hurting Roya?!" she started.

"I-m Sorry." Those were the very first word that came out from my mouth.

"I committed a mistake and I am here to beg for your forgiveness." I replied.

"I already warned you during your wedding day, right?" I understand why she is so angry. Well, anyone will feel the same.

"You hurt her so much that she cannot endure the pain anymore." her voice suddenly sound shaky.

"Please Chaya, I want to make it up to her. I want my wife back, I'm begging you. Please tell me where she is." I hurt Roya knowing how she love me so much. I hurt her because of my stupidity, pride and greed. I can't accept the fact that I am falling for her and left her just like that.

"I'm begging you Chaya." There will always be a hole in my heart that will never be filled, but since Roya came to my life. Little by little, she is filling it with her love, innocence and compassion.

"When she needed you most, you disappeared without a trace." Her voice mellowed and cracked.

"All her life. She thought she's alone. That no one is right there beside her." Chaya added.

"Roya would always smile whenever she's with us. She would always laugh and try so hard to crack some jokes." She paused.

"But you know what. Roya just don't want to burden anyone. She perfectly concealed her loneliness and sadness through her smile." Now Chaya is breathing heavily.