Alternate (a AOT and FMA crossover)

Chapter 22

Okay, I'm going to make something clear now. I am a lazy person, so don't be surprised if I skip to the relevant parts, I'm sorry. But I'm also starting school soon so I'm trying to get through this quickly.

^blacklight14430^

(Jean's POV)

After our crushing defeat in Stohess, we managed to slip out of the city undetected. The ride back to the hideout was a silent and awkward one, nobody was saying anything, the captain wasn't making any criticism of cynical remarks, Sasha wasn't complaining about her stomach and even Connie wasn't even smiling, I was still processing the fact that I was almost killed because of my hesitation.

Damn it all!

I looked over at Armin, I couldn't see his face, because he was riding infront of me, but I tried to imagine what he could be feeling right now. He killed someone. When we joined the scouts, we never thought that we would have to kill anything but titans, it seemed a bit contradictory to the military's purpose, to take human lives.

When we arrived at the forest cabin, we parked the horses in the stables and gathered around outside. We didn't have many injuries, just the captain had a bullet graze wound on his face and arm. So he took off his shirt and Sasha started to work on the wounds. Stitching them back and bandaging him. Connie started a fire that we all sat around.

The atmosphere was silent, the only noises that could be heard was the crackling fire and the crickets chirping in the forest. The quietness was starting to weigh on me, the guilt was settling in again, Armin's skin suddenly paled and he got up and walked to the forest, wobbling a bit on his feet. I looked at Edward who was sitting next to me. He was sitting with his arm on his left knee, staring at the dancing flames, but when he felt my gaze on him, he looked at me with those gold orbs. He flipped his eyes, signalling me to follow the blond boy.

So I did, I ran in the direction he went in and found him leaning against a tree, bending his head forwards. I looked at his silhouette as he stared at ground infront of him.

Then he suddenly fell to his knees and vomited. I ran to him and crouched next to him, putting my hand on his back and patting it, making sure that he bent over to not get the puke on his boots.

"Whoa! Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah... yeah, I'll be fine." he said.

But the barf in the grass told me otherwise, he was clearly not digesting the fact that he killed that girl. I felt the guilt eat at me again, as I remembered why he had to kill that girl in the first place. I cursed myself and patted his back again as he puked again.

"Don't lie... you have a right to say what's on your mind." I said looking at him straight in the eyes.

He sighed and swallowed back whatever was about to come out.

"That girl, she didn't look that much older than us. She had her whole life ahead of her, and I just stole that from her, she looked so scared, more than I was, she probably was a better person than me, yet I pulled that trigger so easily. I don't know what's right anymore, am I good or bad person?" he said, pouring his heart out, his whole body shaking.

"Neither." said a voice behind us.

We turned our heads and saw Edward, his hands in the trench coat pockets and a serious look on his face. He came closer to us, and stood behind Armin, looking at the starry sky.

"My mother once said that there's no point in trying to decide if you're good or evil, the only thing that matters is that you do what you believe is right. If you do, and you have regrets after, think of the regrets you would have if you did something that went against you gut feelings, then you'll realize that maybe there's nothing to regret at all." he said.

Armin looked up at the alchemist, a thoughtful look on his face, then he chuckled.

"Who knew that a hot headed moron like you would have a modicum of wisdom in him." he commented.

"Hey!" protested the shortie.

I laughed a bit too, but then I decided to tease Armin a bit, I put on an exaggerated outraged face and said:
"Please tell me you don't regret saving me."

He laughed, then Ed laughed and so did I. Then we went back to the campfire where the others were waiting for us.