My Heart Hurt So Good (GirlxGirl)

Twenty Six

We were at the canteen for our lunch. I just ordered carbonara and chicken for lunch because I am really wanting to eat carbohydrates today. The guys seemed to be fond of Sophia they kept on talking and asking her everything about her.

I tried to just stay silent for a while because I am still finding the courage to look at Celine and just be civil with her after that event in the classroom. After all, I never wanted to be away from her even if it means seeing me as her friend and no more than that. It hurts to be acting like this with someone whom you truly care about. It feels like every time we act like we don't know each other, there's this something that pulls us to be together again but both of us resist and that really hurt the most. I don't know how she really felt after our break up, I on the other hand felt anger. I won't deny that. I just couldn't understand the real deal between us. She even put me on read when I texted her, I think she really wants to be away from me. That thought saddened me.

I looked up at her, she was sitting in front of me because that's our usual seat and it was so hard to ignore her. Yes, I've done that for a couple of days because my anger consumed me but I know I can't remain angry at her. She seemed to be interested yet quiet annoyed at the conversation which I barely heard of so i decided to hear them out.

"...maxine was so cute that time. She even threatened that ugly bully that she'll kick his ass and make him sit on his poop" I face palmed at what I heard knowing that Sophia had basically told them how we met. It was in third grade when I save her from some bullies. they bullied her because she was too small and skinny for our age and I was quite big enough to deal with the boys.

"That was hilarious Maxine. Looking at the two of you now, you sure is someone to be bullied of" Gideon laughed teasingly

"Yes Max. Sophia was waaayyy taller than you now" Sue added earning a glare from me which she just laughed off.

I laughed at the memory. Sophia was bullied in the past by some insecure girls and I, being the fearless one always manage to scare those bullies away from her. I don't even understand the concept of bullying.

Aside from the fact that Bullying is a unique pattern that repeatedly and intentionally injures and humiliates others, especially those who are smaller, weaker, younger, or somehow more vulnerable than bullying. The distinction between bullying and normal aggression is the  deliberate targeting of weak people. Those kids way back are too aggressive even just for a kid, imagine getting hit by a broom by your fellow 10 year old classmate? I saw those before.

I firmly believe that bullies are made, not born, and it happens at an early age; if the normal aggression of 2-year-olds is not handled with consistency, children fail to acquire internal restraints against such behavior. Bullying remains a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want—at least at first.

Girls can be bullied like boys, but are much less likely to engage in overt attacks. Instead, they tend to hurt others by hurting or manipulating their relationships. They  spread false rumors about someone, tell them to stop liking someone and get along with him or her, engage in social exclusion, and threaten to end friendships and give way. You can silence someone.

Anyway, there are many things that you can do if you're being bullied or know someone who is. You can:

Tell a trusted adult. Adults in positions of authority, like parents, teachers, or coaches, often can deal with bullying without the bully ever learning how they found out about it.

Ignore the bully and walk away. Bullies like getting a reaction. When you leave or ignore them, you tell them  you don't care.

Tall and keep your head high. This type of body language is a way to let you know that you are not defenseless.

Not physically. When you try to fight a bully, you are more likely to get injured or get into trouble. Use your anger in other ways, for example. By exercising or writing them down (be sure to delete or destroy the emails, posts, letters, or notes you wrote in anger).

Try talking to the bully. Please point out that his actions are serious and harmful. This works well if you find that a member of your  group has begun to tease or avoid another member.

Practice with confidence. Practice responding to bullies verbally or through action. Practice to feel good  (even if you have to forge at first).

Talk about it. It is helpful to talk to a career counselor, teacher, or friend, who can provide the support you need. Speaking can be a good exit for fear and frustration that accumulates when  being bullied.

Find your (real) friend. If you are bullied by rumors or gossip, let your friends know so that you can  feel safe and secure. Avoid being alone, especially if bullying occurs frequently.

Stand up for friends and others who are being bullied. Your actions will help the victim feel supported and  stop  bullying.

Participate in a school bullying and violence prevention program. Peer mediation is another way  to solve things  with a bully. If your school does not have these programs, start  your own.

Just a few things to remember..

My eyes wandered at Celine surprised to catch her looking at me, we both instantly broke the eye contact letting the tension leave the atmosphere.

"Maxy here just really save my ass ever since so now that were together again, i would like to do the same" Sophia said as she hugged me. I just give them a small smile lingering at Celine. I saw make an annoyed face.

The lunch went good as it can be and we were making our way back to the room. I was slowly walking behind them as Celine shoved me and murmured to my side which I heard very clearly "Maxxy? pft. What a lame nickname" she said as she makes this annoyed face again

Now I wondered why she's acting like this. She called it off between us. She has no reason to be angry with Sophia, right? What's with her? And I know she did that on purpose but why?

She does this annoying face and don-not-touch-me face on when she's jealous. Is she jealous now??

I looked at her confused as to why she acts like this because the last time I remembered she said that our relationship was a mistake. I decided to ignore her comment and keep up with our friends.

Soon as we entered the room, classes start and my attention was all in the lesson. We have Communication arts at the moment and this seemed to be pretty interesting. Sophia seat beside me and played with my free hands, after a while I saw Celine looked our way then her eyes looked down at my hands that were played by Sophia then she looked away.... hurt? I can't really read her but I uncomfortably shift my hands to the other way and Sophia noticed it.

"what's wrong?" she asked whispering as she straightened her position

"Nothing"

She just shrugged and move her attention to our teacher speaking. It was a really long day for me. There was no good progress and when I mean progress, it's about Celine and I. Oh! The jealousy parts! Was she really jealous or just annoyed? I don't really know.

Is she in a bad mood?