Her Light - His Darkness✔

Chapter 27

"I... My family... I... killed... my... family."

"What do you mean?"

"It's all my fault," I sob into his chest, no doubt the alcohol having a huge impact on my current emotional state.

"Talk to me, Lo." He says encouragingly, softly stroking my hair.

"You won't understand."

"Logan when it comes to you, I'll always understand."

Fuck it! I need to tell him; he deserves to know...

It's time someone learns the truth of that night.

If he still wants to be a part of my life, then it'll be his choice to make. If I had a choice, I wouldn't choose me...

"We would've never been by that intersection at that exact moment if it wasn't for me." I lift my head from the wetness seeping through his white tee from my tears, unsure if I want to continue, but the encouragement on his face gives me the strength I need to continue. "I didn't want to drive to the party, Christian. I didn't want to be the designated driver that night. I wanted to spend the night celebrating with my best friend instead of with my family and Landon."

I try getting off Christian's lap to reach for my nearly empty vodka bottle, but his grip tightens around my waist. Releasing a sigh, I continue.

"We were meant to go in the opposite direction, my parents, my sisters would still be here if I just went straight home, they'd still be alive." I whisper.

I've never told anyone this before out of fear they'd blame me just as much as I blame myself.

I doubt anyone can blame me more than I already do.

I did this to my family, I made Gabby and me orphans. The thought alone makes my insides ache...

"I should've died, Christian. Why did I survive, and they didn't?" The weight on my chest gets heavier as my body gets pulled deeper into the ocean, suffocating me, drowning me, no matter how much I fight to get back up to the surface to inhale some much needed air, I can't. The anchor wrapped around my heart won't let me and I'm tired of fighting against it...

"Logan."

"Five months after the accident I started receiving those letters. I don't know who it is, and I don't know why that person is doing this to me. Maybe I deserve it." I whisper the last part hoping he doesn't hear me in the dead of night.

"I promise you Lo, we will find this person and we'll put an end to all of this." The part of me wanting all of this to end believes him.

"You didn't deserve what happened to you, no one deserves that and it's not your fault. You did not kill your family Logan. It was a tragic accident that you didn't know was going to happen. It was an accident that you had no control over. It's not your fault Lo." But I don't believe his words, Chris swipes his thumb under my eyes to remove the tears, but just as he wipes it away more come.

"I've got you." He kisses my hair, wrapping his arms tighter around me, resting his chin on my head.

I try to move out of Christian's arms without waking him. It's been an hour and a half give or take that I've been wrapped up in his arms in silence, enjoying the scent that is only known to Christian. My tears have dried up and the ache in my head already tells me that a huge hangover is making its way to me.

He holds me tightly providing me comfort, warming my heart making me feel something other than numbness.

When Christian's breathing slowed down, and his arm twitched slightly I knew he had fallen asleep. I swing my legs over his and just as I'm about stand his arms wrap around my waist pulling me flush against his hard chest.