Tattoo Girl and Middle Earth

13

When I wake up Legolas is gone.

Well not gone, just not where he had been sitting when I fell asleep.

Oh god, last night.

The mirror.

Galadriel.

Legolas.

He brought me back here.

He didn't leave until I was after I was asleep.

He cares. As more than just a friend, though?

I sign, and force myself into a sitting position. I am not going to start with the 'let's over-analyze' thing us girls are famous for. I don't have time for it.

Wait why am I thinking about this?

I don't have feelings for him.

Do I?

Even if I did I highly doubt feelings would be the right word. I believe they would only be stirrings right now.

That is if I did, have feelings like that. Which I don't.

Stirrings.

.

I'm thoroughly sick of spending time with only boys. Why do I have to be the only girl in this quest?

Blah.

I check to make sure all my stuff made it into my bag. Then I sling it over my shoulder and follow the others down the path.

.

We begin to head to the boats after saying goodbye to Celeborn and Galadriel. We had all received gifts along with our cloaks. I had gotten a necklace with a black cord and a silver charm of a rose on it.

To remind me that I'm still beautiful, despite my scars. Or something poetic like that. Cause you know, roses have thorns.

.

I end up in a boat with Legolas and Gimli.

So loads of time to sort out my thoughts today, without the pointy-eared distraction. Lovely.

.

Gimli fell asleep over an hour ago, and an awkward silence has been taking place since.

"Are you alright, River?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he whispers, "I can't make any of it better and it is hard to know that. You're hurting and there's nothing I can do."

He finally looks at me. Oh my god, I had no idea you could pack that many emotions in one look.

"I'm sorry."

"For what, though?" He's confused now.

"For making it your burden as well as mine."

"It would have still been my burden to bear, I just wouldn't know what it was."

We sit in silence again.

.

Another day, another awkward silence.

However, today that isn't what's bothering me. Boromir will die. When Gandalf fell it didn't really affect me, I knew he wasn't really dead.

Boromir will actually be dead. He won't come back, and if I try to save him I could very well screw any chances the fellowship has at destroying the ring.

If I don't do anything, I will live with the guilt. I will not only have my own blood on my hands, but his as well. I'm not sure if I can live with something like that. And I can't ask anyone else what to do.

I know Boromir and I didn't get along at first, but we seem to have come to an understanding now. This doesn't help to make my decision any easier.

I sign in frustration, causing Legolas to send a concerned look in my direction. He's been watching me more closely lately. Whenever I notice him looking he pretends he wasn't. I will never understand him.

I've spent so much time thinking I completely miss the Argonath. This only causes my brain to shift to hyper freak out panic mode. Which can't be good for my overall health, but also can't be helped. I need to make a decision and I need to fast.

I will save Boromir. If his blood ends up on my hands I won't be able to survive with knowing I could have helped and I didn't.

.

We are all sitting around the fire Sam had built. I will miss Sam and Frodo. The fate of their whole world rests on those poor guys.

"River, what's troubling you?" Legolas asks.

Stop with the triggering questions! Next time ask me what my favorite color is and I will happily tell you it is black.

"Nothing."

I look back to where Boromir was sitting. He wasn't there anymore,

I mutter a long string of fairly potent swear words. Cursing tends to help you take life's disappointments better.

"Where did Boromir go?"

"Where's Frodo?"

The swear words come out louder this time, a lot louder.

I quickly run off in the direction I'm pretty sure they went.

"River!"

I keep running. I need to find Boromir before he gets himself killed.

Suddenly a horn blast startles my thoughts, and I continue running towards it drawing my swords.

I kill everything that dares stand in my path. My focus is off and I feel a blade grase my face, cutting my cheek. I see the archer loading another arrow and scream at Boromir to move. He doesn't hear me.

I watch the arrow go in and scream in rage, hacking down every uruk-hai in my path. But, I take my focus off the archer and don't see him fire the second arrow.

It hits the target, and Boromir falls to his knees. I continue to kill the uruk-hai, making my way towards the archer. His arrow fires the same time my sword leaves my hand. Both hit their target. My sword killing him instantly. If it were under different circumstances I would admire my work, because I've never thrown a sword before.

Aragorn comes running in but my body and mind have given up, and I fall to the floor sobbing.

The Uruks grab Merry and Pippin and leave.

I continue to cry, while Aragorn kneels down next to Boromir. This is all my fault.

I shakely draw one of my daggers. A hand closes around my wrist, and I look up at Legolas.

"Give me the dagger, River," he says slowly letting go of my arm.

I do, still shaking as I place it in his outstretched hand.

"How do you think the rest of us would feel if you did that, River?" He demands.

I stare at my hands.

"How do you think I would feel?" he whispers, bringing my chin up so I look at him. His eyes have tears in them as he stares back at me.

"I'm sorry."

He nods, standing up and offering his hand to me. I take it and continue to cling to it for dear life as we make our way back.

It's time to hunt orc. 

I'm back!!!

So another up date about updates and stuff. I will definitely update on weekends. Any other times will mean I have extra free time.

-Deli