Tattoo Girl and Middle Earth

24

Isengard still had about a foot of water left covering the ground. Personally, I didn't want to know what was floating in the water. It looked nasty.

I was on my own horse this time at least. I was still the only girl though, Eowyn hadn't been allowed to come with.

I was going to see Saruman for my first and last time and Grimey for my last. Once we were rid of them it would be so much easier.

There are only two major battles left. I'm not sure what will happen after the ring is destroyed. I might go back to my world and never see Legolas or Aragorn or any of the others ever again. I could die, that was still something that could easily happen.

What would happen to Legolas if either of these things happen? He might fade. It would be all my fault if that happened to him. The last possibility of me staying in Middle Earth is the least likely of the three. Even if I were to stay I would still be human and eventually die.

Saruman was talking to the others but now my thoughts really couldn't be controlled. They began to spiral horribly. Would I be able to survive without them if I got sent back? Would I be able to survive without him?

I don't know. I don't know if I can.

Oh my god.

None of them were paying any attention to me. Thankfully by the time both of the tower's nasty inhabitants were dead I could get my hyperventilating under control.

I didn't notice Pippin pick up the plantar. Or Gandalf taking it from him. I was just glad to head back to Edoras.

▪◼

I was holed up in the room I'd been given. Everyone else was at the feast, and my lack of being there would be noticed quickly. There would be more than enough people to stall any concerned men that might come looking for me anyway. Or so I hope.

My anxiety had come back full force. I was curled in the middle of the bed waiting for it to go away. It wasn't helping. Music usually did though, so I started muttering a song to myself.

"Maybe it's 'cause your mom never kissed you

If you ever cried, you'd wipe with muscle tissue

You bench pressing more than me's not the issue

I know you're actually weaker than that

Let's hope that nothing get deeper than that

Like why, why are you only vulnerable when no-one's around?

Your gym membership is not a crown

You're not so tough

I know that nightlight's on when you sleep

You're not so tough

Yeah, you watch Eat Pray Love on repeat

And I'm sure you'd win in an altercation

But you're still insecure to me

Oh, so mess me up

I know you're not so tough

Are you insecure that the steroids are causing hair loss?

That your Lulu shorts don't quite vibe with your camo AirPods

And if I ran into you past sunset, I'd probably be scared, oh

I know you're honestly weaker than that

I bet you know that you need to relax

And I don't mean to come at you like it's Watergate

My pale ghostly body's purely water-weight

Yeah, I should probably substitute what is on my plate

But I still acknowledge those feelings inside

Let's work on your habit to run or to hide

Like why, why are you only vulnerable when no-one's around?

Your gym membership is not a crown

You're not so tough

I know that nightlight's on when you sleep

You're not so tough

Yeah, you watch Eat Pray Love on repeat

And I'm sure you'd win in an altercation

But you're still insecure to me

Oh, so mess me up

I know you're not so tough

You're not so tough

You're not

You're not so tough

You're not

You're not so tough

You're not

You're not so tough

You're not

You're not so tough

I know that nightlight's on when you sleep

You're not so tough

Yeah, you watch Eat Pray Love on repeat

And I'm sure you'd win in an altercation

But you're still insecure to me

Oh, so mess me up

I know you're not so tough"

It helped, at least a little more than doing nothing did.

The doorknob turned and the intruder made his way into my room. I had hoped they would get stalled longer than this.

"Mela?"

I didn't answer. I didn't need to.

"Mela, what's wrong?"

Legolas sat on the bed next to me. Not touching me but next to me. He radiated a warm glow compared to my dark shadow.

He wouldn't understand. No one would. People here didn't vocalize when they had these problems. They were thought to be broken.

I don't want people to think I'm broken.

"Legolas, could you please leave for now. Go back to the party, I just need some time. You can come back later if you're still worried."

He nods, kissing my forehead softly before getting up and leaving.

▪◼

Hi guys!

The song I used in here is Tough by Quinn xcii ft. Noah Kahan.

I was going to try to maybe do another chapter today but I don't have much motivation left right now which is why the chapter ended there. I'm going to get this book done and then depending on what I have for free time I might take a break from writing for a couple weeks. Obliviously I'll still be active on wattpad during this time if I don't write.

I'm going to do a sequel at some point on this book. I don't know when though so keep your eyes out as we near the end of the book for announcements in here or on my page.

I've talked a lot, wow. OK bye I guess.

-Deli💛