After years of dating... going past the time I was able to live up to... Yza and Chiharu announced to their family they were getting married.
"M-married?! You two?!" Mom exclaimed.
"Yeah... You don't have to worry. I'll take the Nomura name." Yza said.
"Please give us your blessing... mom, dad." Chiharu bowed.
"How could I say no? You'll be the perfect man for her, Yza." Dad smiled.
"Chiharu... I'm so happy for you!" Mom cried.
"Thank you... thank you so much!" Yza bowed deeply.
When I watched them break the news to their parents, my heart was crushed.
Even if me and Yza were one and the same, I wasn't like him at all.
This moment solidified it for me.
Yza was strong and cool. He's faced things worse than I have and still came out on top, even stronger than before.
In comparison... I've never had to climb walls like he did. I've never had to overcome challenge after challenge like him.
If I did grow... it wasn't much. I've always stayed the same. Weak and useless.
I clung onto others and prayed that my measly existence wouldn't be swept away.
If I've disappeared, then I should at least be thankful that I get to see the conclusion of what would've been my story.
On their wedding day, I couldn't bring myself to attend.
The moment I was in front of the venue, I started uncontrollably crying.
I ran away.
I missed Chiharu's wedding...
...I'll never forgive myself.
I bet she was beautiful in that dress...
I bet... she was really happy...
Probably even happier than when she was with me...
Even though I'm nothing more then a wondering spirit... I could still feel a deep pain in my chest from this.
I'm so lost and confused...
I hated myself for running away from an important day for Chiharu.
I was upset because it wasn't me who was marrying her.
I regret not seeing the wedding.
I was jealous because Yza was marrying her.
I wanted to be happy for her.
But all I could feel was anger.
Not for her.
Not for me.
But for Yza.
I was... angry at Yza?
I was angry at Yza.
We were the same... right?
We were the same.
Then why... why did it end up like this?
Because I wasn't strong enough.
For a decade, I wandered Tokyo watching everyone else's stories and life play out before my eyes.
I didn't return to watch Yza and Chiharu though.
I was too scared to do that.
It was on Christmas Day that I forced myself back to their home.
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